Category: Fly The Friendly Skies
Mike Tyson Punched A Man Who Was Harassing Him On An Airplane
Today in fuck around and find out news, a man learned what happens when you poke a bear with a stick and have nowhere to hide because you’re in a tin can soaring 35,000 feet in the air at 500 MPH. TMZ reports that yesterday, a drunken fool was seated behind Mike Tyson on a JetBlue flight from San Francisco, where Mike had been attending the internationally famous 420 day cannabis festivities at Golden Gate Park and tried it. As if air travel isn’t bad enough as it is without assholes who are not named Will Smith rapping I Think I Could Beat Mike Tyson to Mike Tyson!
Open Post: Hosted By Jetpack Man Hovering Over L.A.
Last Wednesday, a curious phenomenon cavorting in the moody and ribbony, caramel haze otherwise known as the sky over Los Angeles, appeared for the fourth time since it was first spotted in 2020. Not a bird, not a plane, and perhaps not even the same human decked out in fancy flying gear each time, but according to Mashable, there’s some definite UFO shit going on in the shape of a dude with a jet pack, and LAX is on alert.
Naomi Campbell Made A Video About Her Coronavirus Concerns
Even in 2020, when y’all see her name pop up in the news, y’all know that story is headed in any direction. Naomi Campbell, supermodel and the scourge of personal assistants everywhere, recently shot a video for her popular Being Naomi YouTube channel. And in it, she explains the reasoning for her recent stroll through LAX in a hazmat suit––among other delightful and totally relatable topics. Strap in boys and girls: this one’s a doozy (even for Naomi).
Another Viral Video Has Divided The Internet
The internet has divided once again, and this time it is all thanks to a couple of American Eagle passengers on the same flight. A woman named Wendi Williams (not this one, a different one) was on a 90-minute flight from New Orleans to Charlotte when she decided to recline her seat. Sometimes when you recline your seat, nothing will happen. Other times, the person behind you will not appreciate you exercising your right to recline your seat and will declare war on you. That’s what happened to Wendi. Wendi claims that a man repeatedly punched her chair after she reclined it, and she responded by recording him.
Busta Rhymes Was Greeted At The Airport By Police After An Overhead Bin Altercation
I hadn’t really considered Busta Rhymes since the early-aughts when he was making chiropractors rich by telling everybody to break ya neck. But apparently he’s still hustling. Earlier this week, Busta was flying first class on British Airways from JFK to London’s Heathrow Airport where he was greeted by police after “verbally assaulting and threatening passengers” in a dispute over overhead bin space (via Daily Mail). Look, we all know air travel is hell. Well, at least it is for us who can’t afford to fly first class. I’m surprised more in-flight outbursts don’t occur given the number of stupid, annoying people one encounters on any given flight. But mussin’ and fussin’ in first class with a glass of champagne in your hand and a fleet of flight attendants to do your dirty work for you? Get the fuck outta here.
A Woman Who Got Kicked Off A Flight Because Of A Pet Allergy Didn’t Go Quietly
On a Southwest flight from Baltimore to Los Angeles on Tuesday, a woman complained that she’s deathly allergic to the dogs that were on the plane with her, and it ended with her being forcefully removed and facing a gang of offenses as the dogs onboard said to themselves, “Humans: ZERO, Dogs: All the points!”