Category: Florida

Hannibal Buress Was Arrested In Florida, And It Got A Little Messy

December 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Hannibal Buress made some bad memories in Miami, Florida this weekend. I should be more specific, since I’m pretty sure “bad memories” is the state’s motto. TMZ says that Hannibal was arrested early Sunday morning for “disorderly intoxication,” an arrest that involved a pissed-off Hannibal getting pushed into a police car. Don’t let that “2 blessed 2 b stressed” face he’s serving in his mugshot fool you; Hannibal most certainly wasn’t thrilled to be getting arrested.

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Pitbull Was Paid $1 Million To Sing About Florida’s “Sexy Beaches”

December 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Back in July, Pitbull released a song called Sexy Beaches, which as you can guess is about sexy beaches. Particularly, Florida’s sexy beaches. Pitbull, who is from Miami, shouts about sexy beaches and hotels as sexy bitches in swimsuits splash around in slow motion in the water. It was pretty much a commercial for Florida. The only thing missing was a voice-over at the end instructing you to dial 1-800-FLORIDA and ask to speak to Candace for more information on vacation packages.

As it turns out, yeah, Sexy Beaches was a commercial, and Pitbull got paid a lot of money for it. Unfortunately, he got in a little trouble this week because it took a lot of poking to get Pitbull to admit how much he was paid for it.

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And Now For A Story About Coke, Weed, And Strippers Starring Country Singer Zac Brown

April 15, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s Friday, and what better thing to prepare you for the potential messiness of the weekend than a tale about a country star getting busted for coke and weed in a room full of strippers in Florida. This one comes courtesy of a country singer named Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band. If you’ve ever gotten your car radio stuck on a country channel, you might know Zac Brown as the guy who sings the song “Chicken Fried.” I’m sure for most of us, he’s little more than the beefy, bearded, n’ bald version of Chris O’Donnell we’re looking at in the picture above. But really, you don’t need to know anything about Zac Brown to appreciate the messiness of this story, so let’s get into it.

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Because You Really Wanted To Know, Hulk Hogan’s Dick Is Not 10 Inches Long

March 8, 2016 / Posted by:

The blindfold on every Lady Justice statue in this country is filling with a thousand tears, because nothing has ever made them more proud of the judicial system like Hulk Hogan testifying in a court room that his dick is not 10 inches long. What a proud moment for this country.

Giant piece of smoked salmon jerky Hulk Hogan and Gawker are currently battling it to the death in a court room in St. Petersburg, FL. Hulk and his wishbone stache are suing Gawker for $100 million for invading his privacy by posting a video of the Hulkster running wild on his friend’s pussy. (Actually, I’ve seen the video. He doesn’t run wild. It’s more of a slow out-of-breath stroll.) Hulk didn’t know he was being filmed when he pounded his charbroiled salchicha into Heather Clem, the then-wife of his friend Bubba the Love Sponge. The sex tape was recorded on security cameras in Bubba and Heather’s the bedroom. Hulk also sued Bubba, but they settled the case for $5,000 and a public “I”m Sowwy.” Gawker and Hulk Hogan tried to work out a deal, but they couldn’t come to an agreement. So they’re in court.

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