Category: Finally Some Good News

Michael Avenatti Says He Received A Previously Unseen Tape Of R. Kelly Sexually Assaulting A Minor

February 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Michael Avenatti wasn’t able to land his big game fish, Donald Trump (bottom feeding flat fish can grow quite big, don’t ya know), but apparently he’s had his sights set on easier prey too. Michael announced that he’s been in possession of a previously unseen tape of Robert Sylvester Kelly engaging in “multiple sexual assaults of a girl underage”. According to Michael, he’s been representing “multiple clients” with allegations of sexual assault against Robert since April of 2018, and has been doing so pro bono because he cares deeply about “young African-American girls”. I’m sure his involvement had nothing at all to do with sidling up to the white-hot spotlight R. Kelly’s been living under since, I don’t know, about April of 2018. But regardless of his motives, it sounds like Michael may have found a smoking gun, and has turned it over to the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office.

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Bill Cosby Is Going To The Chokey For At Least 3 Years

September 25, 2018 / Posted by:

UPDATE: And now with mug shot, in case you needed a feel-good wallpaper for your phone.

Bill Cosby will have at least three years to perfect his prison Puddin’ Pop recipe (using dirty toilet water, generic brand gelatin bought from the commissary and powdered milk), because today he was hit with a 3 to 10 year prison sentence for drugging and raping Andrea Constand in 2004. And just like that, Trump crossed Cosby’s name off of the list of possible replacements in case Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination doesn’t go through.

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“Designing Women” Is Getting A Reboot

August 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Because nothing is sacred and we should expect the announcement of “The Bible 2: Here We Go Again”any day now, Hollywood is looking at what is left on the clearance rack at what TV shows haven’t been rebooted and trying them on for size…but some shit apparently has been staring them in the face for years now and it took this long to bring it back. It’s being reported that Designing Women is next up for a return to TV, and it even has the original creator, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason behind it…but what about Julia Sugarbaker’s monologues?!

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Hoda Kotb Has Officially Taken Over Matt Lauer’s Job At “Today”

January 2, 2018 / Posted by:

If you didn’t look at the little words on that cover, you might think that Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb found mid-life lesbian love with each other, left their men and announced their gayelle union with a head-to-head pose on the cover of People! But Savannah and Hoda are now a different kind of partners. Hoda announced on Today and People this morning that she will permanently co-anchor the show with Savannah. Hoda is now the unofficial Queen of Today, because she’ll also keep continuing to host the “Happy Hour” of Today (aka the fourth hour with Kathie Lee Gifford). So the final hour of Today won’t be KLG singing show tunes and Jesus songs with a half-empty bottle of Pinot in the stool next to her.

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Papa Joe Simpson Beat Cancer

July 31, 2017 / Posted by:

That picture of Jessica Simpson’s daddy Papa Joe Simpson was taken about two months ago, and he has many reasons to be smiling. One, he’s holding what looks like a really fun present. Two, he knows how good he looks in that duochrome blouse and coordinating plaid duster vest. Three, because he was winning the battle against cancer.

Back in November, Papa Joe’s reps confirmed he had been treated for prostate cancer. Papa Joe made an appearance at the Freedom United Foundation Presents Art With a Cause event last Thursday night, and he told UsWeekly that he’s in the clear.

“I’m coming back!” he exclusively told Us at the party. “I went from Stage IV to cancer free! I feel good,” he said. “I beat it. I have zero cancer!”

Papa Joe reportedly finished cancer treatments in the middle of March, and at the time a source was saying the cancer had gone away.

One of UsWeekly’s sources claimed that his diagnosis reunited Papa Joe with his family (apparently Jessica and Ashlee Simpson weren’t that close with Ol’ PJ in the past few years). So it’s nice that he was given a new chapter with Jessica and Ashlee. And I’m glad to hear Papa Joe is all good now, and that’s he’s coming back. He deserves a comeback! And maybe I’m saying that for selfish reasons. I recently listened to A Public Affair, which lead me down a shame hole to Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya), and I was like “Okay, more please.” If anyone can influence Jessica and Ashlee that they’ve got the voices and stage presence to record new music, it’s charismatic taste maker Papa Joe.


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