Since I’m a bit of a Theater Duchess (not yet a Theater Princess or Theater Queen), I’ve known that along with belting out musical notes in ALL-CAPS, giving her unfiltered thoughts on things is something Patti LuPone is not afraid to do. Patti was on Watch What Happens Live last night, and leave it to beef sautéer extraordinaire Andy Cohen to get her to go off on everything from Madonna’s “acting” to live TV musicals to Abby Lee Miller. A couple of the things that Patti said last night have been said before by her, but she finally got to say them on national television. Praise that shifty Andy Cohen for bringing out a true gift for us devotees to petty drama.
On Friday’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were challenged to film a parody of Beverly Hills, 90210 called Beverly Hills, 9021-HO. It was coached and judged by 90210 stars Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth. I hope RuPaul remembered to hire an armed guard to keep watch over the $100,000 prize; you can’t take any chances leaving Tori around that much money.
In Alec Baldwin’s new memoir, Nevertheless, he talks about being horrified to learn that Nikki Reed was underage when they filmed Mini’s First Time, a limited-release comedy drama from 2006. The movie is about a high school student named Mini (Nikki) who decides to be an escort and accidentally gets called by her stepdad (Alec). Then they go on to (spoiler alert!) murder Mini’s mom.
Alec claims in his book that he was 47-years-old when they shot the movie, and it never occurred to him to ask how old Nikki was. When Alec discovered that Nikki had just turned 17, he flipped out on the rude, thoughtless little pigs on set who failed to mention just how young she was. Except that it might not have happened like that. According to one of the producers of Mini’s First Time, Alec is lying.
Before Stepmom came out in December of 1998, there was a rumor that Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts hated working with each other. Both Susan and Julia denied that they were feuding to Entertainment Weekly about a month before the film’s release. Julia called the rumor “boring” and a “yawn” and said she was actually hoping people would have started a better rumor, like that she and Susan were fucking each other. Almost twenty years later, the rumor can finally be throw out along with that a VHS copy of Stepmom that every basement seems to have.
I don’t know the complete history of the phrase of “Not today, Satan.” I don’t think it first sprouted out of the brain of Bianca Del Rio, but I do know that she made it one of her signature catchphrases, spit it out during season 6 of RuPaul’s Drag Race (which she won), named her tour after it and sells “Not Today Satan” merchandise on her website. Well, yesterday Candace Cameron Bure posted a picture on Instagram of herself wearing a “Not Today Satan” t-shirt and Bianca wasn’t having it today, tomorrow or next week. I guess the era of feuds filed under “Random As Hell” isn’t over.
The first season of FX’s Feud, which is about the legendary diva battle between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, doesn’t start airing until this Sunday and we don’t know if it’s a hit or not. But FX has already given Ryan Murphy and company the okay to start working on season two of Feud. I was really hoping that season 2 would be Feud: Shannen and Jennie with Shannen Doherty as Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth as Jennie Garth (hey, if Gabrielle Carteris’ 30-year-old ass got away with playing a high schooler, then Shannen and Jennie can get away with playing their late-teen and twenty-something selves). Sadly, Ryan already said that Bette v. Joan would probably be the only Hollywood feud they cover, so they’re moving on to the royals. And double sadly, they’re not doing Prince George v. EVERYONE.