Kim Zolciak’s face is like a cubist painting; you truly see what your mind wants to see. Personally when I look at Kim, I see the new money cousin of Mrs. Toad from Thumbelina. Marlon Wayans looked at Kim’s face during the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion show on Sunday, and said on Instagram that it gave him flashbacks to his 2004 movie White Chicks. Usually when someone compares a person to White Chicks, they can either lean into it, like Iggy Azalea did, or they can feel deeply insulted and take it as a read. Kim chose the second.
One of my favorite feuds of the modern era is the beef between teriyaki glazed Hawaiian meatball Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and spicy Sicilian meatball Vin Diesel. It started with a shady whisper of “candy-ass” on Instagram and escalated to a showdown in The Rock’s trailer on the set of The Fate of The Furious. In an interview with Rolling Stone, The Rock confirmed what many had suspected, that he and Vin didn’t actually shoot any scenes together for F8 due to their differing philosophies on candy (The Rock prefers gummy worms, Vin likes a jaw breakers) and asses (bubble and pancake respectively).
Last week we learned that 101-year-old Olivia de Havilland’s legal slap-fight against Feud co-creator Ryan Murphy and FX had been moved to the California Court of Appeals. It needed to get solved fast, because Olivia is 101 and she’d probably rather not spend her last moments hissing at Ryan Murphy from behind the witness stand. It got solved quickly, but not in the way Olivia was hoping.
You don’t have to be terribly old to learn you don’t mess with old broads. They have zero fucks to give and all the time in the world to find some way to snatch your weave and bring you down a peg or fifteen. Ryan Murphy is getting his own lesson, as 101-year-old Olivia de Havilland decided to come for him for using her likeness without her permission in Feud.
Adam Rippon may have become the star of the 2018 Winter Olympics and been named HSOTD for the little “hold me daddy” harness he wore to the Oscars, but if he thinks he can come for Johnny Weir, the one and only Ice Queen that counts (no Elsa, take a seat dear. This competition is not for you until you come out), he’s got another thing coming.
When Adam appeared on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen and insinuated that Johnny is jealous of his boogie, Johnny #tooktotwitter and opened up an entire can of… mature response and genuine encouragement? Damn, son! Shit just got Weir-ed!
What the 2018 Winter Olympics was really missing (besides Steve Langton pulling a Pita Taufatofua by showing up topless, oiled-up and ready to go at the closing ceremonies) was 28-year-old Adam Rippon and 33-year-old Johnny Weir skating hand-in-hand onto the ice in matching sequined catsuits and twirling in unison to an acoustic, haunting version of Lindsay Lohan’s Rumors as a response to Page Six saying that Johnny is the Cristal Connors to Adam’s Nomi Malone. But Adam and Johnny never dropped a load of glittery shit onto that rumor, and that could be because there was some truth to it.