Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.
Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.
Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.
Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.
Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.
It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.
54-Year-Old Timothy Hutton And His 26-Year-Old American Crime Co-Star Are “SECRETLY” Living Together
The first two episodes of American Crime are in my DVR, but I haven’t started watching it yet, because there’s only so many TV watching hours in the night and I choose to watch highly artistic and spiritually fulfilling shows like Real Housewives of Melbourne, Shahs of Sunset, House Hunters Renovation, Love, Lust or Run and My 600-lb Life. I know, I should really give my melted brain a break from taking in such complicated art and watch some dumbed-down trash every now and again. Well, thanks to The Daily Mail, when I do get around to watching American Crime, I’ll know that Oscar winner Timothy Hutton and the chick who plays the teenage meth head are possibly rubbing fuck parts in real-life.