The theme of last night’s 51st annual CMAs was Westwood Chic and the stars moseyed down the red carpet wearing their best robot brothel attire. As such, fringe, upholstery and feathers were the order of the day. That’s Drake up top there. No not that Drake, Drake White showing ’em how they ride in Nashville. For the most part, the ladies kept things more classically formal while the men ruled the night by showing off their creative country flair. Let’s saddle up and ride the range looking for lost doggies. Giddy up!
In the immortal words of RuPaul, “two queens stand before me”.
Yesterday at Paris Fashion Week, Helen Mirren and Jane Fonda both proved that once a bad bitch, always a bad bitch by absolutely slaying it on the runway for L’Oreal Paris. Thankfully neither of these legends had to lip sync for their lives but they surely gave the assembled crowd life with their ferocity and grace.
Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.
There was so much fashion fuckery at the MTV VMAs last night, I barely know where to begin! If the Teen Choice Awards are the Middle School dance of awards shows, then the VMA’s are the Junior Prom at an alternative performing arts magnet school. Since it’s high school, I’ll be announcing the winners and losers in several categories. The first category is Most Obvious Genitalia, and that award goes to none other than Nicki Minaj.
Paris hasn’t really been the same since Miss Piggy took over French Vogue. Every gal in town had to immediately burn her wardrobe, because NOBODY does couture like Miss P. That is, until came Celine Dion.
The Queen of Quebec famously kept ringside seats at couture shows where she war whooped next to Anna Wintour, which isn’t nice, since the loudest thing the American Vogue editor likes to hear is the thwack of Roger Federer’s tennis racket at Wimbledon.
The annual Cannes amfAR Gala for AIDS research was held last night, and it’s an event that truly brings out the best attempts in fashion. This is what Nicki Minaj looked like, and I love it all. The Morticia Addams hair paired with the un-dead boudoir eleganza from Roberto Cavalli and the ten pounds of diamonds makes her look like Vampira’s money-hungry hustler sister Scampira. Watch out, rich dudes – she’ll suck the life out of you and your bank account!