Category: Fashion

Now For The Drama, Glamour, And WTF-ery Of The Oscars Red Carpet

March 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Note that I left out the word “mess,” as there’s no question that the messiest part of the red carpet was most likely the three square feet of space occupied by Ryan Seacrest.

If there was an award for red carpet fashion that makes you question a stylist’s sanity, Nicole Kidman would be that category’s Meryl Streep. Nicole arrived in an Armani Prive gown that does double duty. From the waist-up she’s very mascot of a sexy frozen fish company, and from the waist down I’m getting a reminder to please separate my  plastic recyclables from my paper.

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Justin Bieber Might Be Starting His Own Fashion House

February 23, 2018 / Posted by:

For the past seven months, Justin Bieber has been on a self-imposed time off from his tour. He’s been keeping “busy” with one-on-one private bible studies with Pastor BFF and couples counseling with Selena Gomez. But like many bored famous people before him, it would appear Justin has decided to really commit to killing time by starting a clothing line.

The Blast says that Justin’s company, Bieber Time Holdings LLC, filed documents last week to secure trademarks on the phrases “The House of Drew,” “La Maison Drew,” and simply “Drew.” All three trademark applications list the intended use for goods and services, which the trademark states could be apparel such as shirts, jeans, jackets, pajamas, swimsuits, robes, bras, and children’s clothes. Oooh, OshKosh better watch out, it sounds like Justin Bieber is pulling his Big Wheel up to their turf.

TMZ notes that this is the third time Justin has tried to trademark “Drew.” Drew is Justin’s middle name. Justin filed applications in 2012 and 2015, but eventually abandoned both applications.

There’s no other information about Justin’s alleged clothing line, like when it might be happening. But it’s great that he’s making his own clothing; I’m sure it will be adopted as the official uniform of his cult…I mean, church. And I’m being totally serious here when I say I’m excited to see Justin Bieber’s clothing line. Justin Bieber is operating under a level of hubris-jacked delusion on par with Kanye West, and look at what he’s sent down the runway. At best it will be boring. At worst? I don’t know – I’m picturing a suit made out of Justin’s favorite hockey jerseys and quick-removal shirts.



Mostly Everyone Did Black At The BAFTAs With Varying Degrees Of Success

February 19, 2018 / Posted by:

It would have been a nearly all-black fashion show at the BAFTAs in London last night, in honor of the Time’s Up movement. But the class average was brought down by Duchess Kate (who was prevented from wearing black by royal no-politics protocol), and Frances McDormand (who just didn’t feel like it and showed up in pink-on-black instead).

For mostly everyone else, it was a multitude of black. Or black with a random kick of not-black, like Allison Janney. And by random, I mean a satin choker bolero on top of a Bibhu Mohapatra dress. It looks like a shirt made from the bottom half of Roger the Alien from American Dad that was put on backwards and upside down.

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Open Post: Hosted By The “Black Panther” Purple Carpet Premiere

January 30, 2018 / Posted by:

If you’re sick and tired of hearing the overused screams of “YASSSSS QUEEN” then do yourself a favor and skip this post because the the purple carpet at the Black Panther premiere last night was shouting it from the mountain top! Every little phrase we’ve stolen from drag culture is appropriate here. I am gagged and my wig is snatched. Yes, they all did jump from there.

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Lady Gaga Attempted A Lace-Up Braid, And Other Looks From The Grammys

January 29, 2018 / Posted by:

But of course this could only be Lady Gaga. While others might think, “You know, maybe this year I’ll walk up the red carpet in a piece that makes it looks like I’m trying to cover up all the hair I lost after leaving my at-home highlighting kit on for too long,” Lady Gaga goes out and does it. She tells her stylist to make her look like a 73-year-old balding hippie who refuses to face the music about their hair situation, and she wears it with pride! As for her outfit, well that’s another story all together.

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Many Tried, But Nobody Beat Kate Hudson On The Red Carpet At The SAG Awards

January 22, 2018 / Posted by:

There was a lot of messy fashion at the SAG Awards last night (prepare yourself accordingly after that jump below!). But obviously any effort that was put in was immediately cancelled out the second Kate Hudson returned to the scene of last year’s fashion crime and fully outdid herself in a fluffy Valentino vision of countrified love. I say love because, duh, the hearts a’plenty, but also because I love this dress. What’s not to love? Black velvet (check), pink beauty pageant chiffon (check), a high-lace neckline with corresponding bib of ruffles (checking furiously). The only thing missing is a pink parasol. Kate probably left it in the limo for fear of being mistaken for Miley Cyrus in a knock-off production of My Fair Lady called Decent Lookin’ Gal.

Here’s who else showed up and sizzled eyeballs with style.

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