It was only a matter of time before Ewan McGregor made a full-on “Yep, we’re together” appearance with the woman he’s rebounding with after his 22-year marriage ended last month. Or while his marriage was ending, depending on what version of Ewan McGregor you subscribe to.
Ewan and his rumored current lady Mary Elizabeth Winstead were seen strolling around in L.A. on Saturday. 46-year-old Ewan and 32-year-old Mary Elizabeth don’t really seem like fame whorey types, so their official couple debut wasn’t going to involve some cheesy Instagram picture featuring candlelight and the hashtag #couplegoals. They just got papped holding hands.
Ewan McGregor Spotted Holding Hands with Girlfriend Mary Elizabeth Winstead https://t.co/GeY4KIXykj
— People (@people) November 13, 2017
I can appreciate that they chose to hold hands. Because if you’re going to get papped with your rebound, you might as well make it as obvious as possible. But they didn’t have to. The rest of their bodies did it for them.
Both Ewan and Mary Elizabeth were wearing black leather motorcycle jackets, blue jeans, and black boots, and both of them had a messy “just woke up from a nap at my new piece’s place‘”look about their hair. Let’s face it, even if Ewan’s hands were tucked tightly in his pockets, matching leather biker jacket outfits and cool dad hair screams, “This is my new younger girlfriend.”
People Announced That Ewan McGregor’s Marriage Is Over After Pics Of Him Kissing Mary Elizabeth Winstead Came Out
People announced yesterday that Ewan McGregor and his wife Eve Mavrakis are done after 22 years. Ewan and Eve, a production designer, met on the set of the British TV show Kavanagh QC way back in 1995. They have four daughters together, spanning the ages between 21 to 6. A family source tells People that Ewan and Eve have been separated since May. And he may have already moved on.
Ewan McGregor has a new movie, T2: Trainspotting, coming out soon, which means he’s hustling the goods on a series of TV shows. One of the stops on Ewan’s promo tour was supposed to happen this morning on Good Morning Britain, but he decided that he didn’t want to do the show after discovering that one of the hosts is rancid Turkey Twizzler Piers Morgan. Ewan added an extra sting in his slap by making his announcement a public one on Twitter.
Over a week ago, I posted the first official pictures from that ~problematic~ bestiality tale of a captured nerd girl who must’ve done a lot of hard drugs, because she talks to clocks and shit and wet dreams about covering her lips (and not the ones on her face) with the lipstick belonging to her captor, a mean dog beast. (Beauty and the Beast is like a clean version of every NSFW subreddit.) And today, Disney pooped out the first official trailer, and well, this thing makes those first official pictures look like they’re full of life and charisma. This trailer has a resting heart rate of zero and is as lackluster as this dry stale English Muffin I’m chewing on (I’m out of butter).
Obviously we’re only teased with just a teeny tiny bit. Every producer knows that if you want to put actual asses in theater seats, you don’t give away all of Ewan McGregor’s business for free in the trailer.
The official trailer for T2: Trainspotting, the 20-years later sequel to Trainspotting from Danny Boyle, was released today. Based on that title and knowing it happens 20 years after the original, I naturally assumed the trailer for T2: Trainspotting would feature Rent Boy trying to outrun Sick Boy, who was turned into a T-1000 after accidentally shooting mimetic polyalloy instead of heroin. It’s nothing like that. T2 is based on the book sequel to Trainspotting called Porno, and is all about everyone getting together to do drugs and make porno. If you want to skip straight to Ewan’s ass, it pops in to say hello around the 1:24 mark.
Everyone from the first Trainspotting is back for T2. Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, Kelly Macdonald. They’ve also updated Ewan’s “choose ___” monologue to reflect 2016. Now instead of “choose compact disc players” it’s “choose Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.” I call bullshit on that one. Don’t tell me Ewan’s character didn’t look up Diane at least once on Facebook drunk at 2am during the last 10 years.
Last night at the Los Angeles premiere of Mortdecai, 62-year-old sexy Cialis pill Jeff Goldblum and his 31-year-old knocked-up gymnast wife Emilie Livingston decided to give everyone in attendance an eyeful of what it looks like when an old-ass dude who can still get it gets the instant horn-horns for the girl who portions out his Lipitor into his plastic 7-day pill organizer by sucking each other’s faces on the red carpet. Normally I’m all for two horny sluts going at it in public, but watching Jeff mouth-hump on Emilie is 8 shades of NO. This looks like a daddy bird feeding a baby bird, or a Werther’s Original ad gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Thankfully, an even-messier someone was able to yank our eyes away from that mess, and that someone was Gwyneth Paltrow flashing half an organic free-range cashmere-basted boob:
Mothers, lock up your billionaire investment banker sons – Sexy Single Mommy Goopy is on the prowl! And maybe it’s because I’m a little high from the 3 bowls of French Toast Crunch I ate this morning, but those freckles of Goopy’s boopy sort of look like a happy little face, right? I can practically hear it offering me a cold glass of sparkling hand-pressed Madagascar lime leaf essence.
Here’s more of Jeff Goldblum acting like the definition of a late-in-life midlife crisis, Goopy serving up some “Mommy’s still sexy, right? RIGHT???” realness, as well as human guitar pick Johnny Depp, panty-dropping Scottish DILF Ewan McGregor, and jacked Crank Yankers puppet Tracy Anderson: