It’s a dark day here at Dlisted. Prince Harry might be engaged, and it’s not to a certain American blogger named Michael K. In the spirit of hope, I’ll be choosing to treat this news as just a silly long-running rumor. Ha ha ha, look at this? The Daily Star UK is saying that Prince Harry is engaged to his girlfriend Meghan Markle! Oh what a fun thought.
I am not kidding when I say I just looked out my window to check and see if any large, scary gray clouds filled the sky. I got this nervous feeling that the remaining Twihards (their numbers may be small, but their obsession is strong) might collectively react to this news by mentally manifesting an angry storm. Thankfully they might be kept busy trying to decode Robert Pattinson’s purposefully cryptic message.
Patton Oswalt and his girlfriend, actress Meredith Salenger (that’s Lainie Diamond from Dream a Little Dream and Natty Gann to us children of the 80s), made their public debut as a couple at the Baby Driver premiere last month, and now a minute later, they’re engaged. Hey, life is short, and I guess when you find someone you want to do regularly and can stand to be in the same room for more than 15 minutes, you ruin it all by making it legal!
I’m sure you missed the engagement ring on Lance Armstrong’s lady’s hand because you were too transfixed by the lens flares that make it look like she’s shooting streams of liquid hot magma into his chest. But yes, she’s wearing that type on ring on her marriage finger.
Cycling scam artist Lance Armstrong announced yesterday on Instagram that he was getting married to his longtime girlfriend Anna Hansen. Lance posted the above pic with the caption: “She said….YES!” You know, just once I’d love to see a celebrity break from tradition and Instagram a picture of a ring box in the trash with a caption that says: “She said NO #tears #sadness #foreveralone.”
Lance and Anna have been together for almost nine years. They have two kids together (Max, 7, and Olivia, 6). Lance has three teenagers from his first marriage to Kristin Richard. He was also once engaged to Sheryl Crow.
A little over two years ago, Anna took the fall for Lance after they left a party in Aspen, CO and he hit two parked cars with his SUV. Lance finally owned up to it after Anna told police she was covering for Lance to prevent his pristine reputation from being dragged through the news. That was very ride-or-die of Anna. I hope that if Lance and Anna write their own vows, he remembers to include something about that. “I Lance, take you Anna, to be my forever accomplice on this journey called life. I promise that whenever I need an excuse, I’ll always come to you first baby. You’ll always be buckled into the passenger seat of my heart…unless I fuck up, in which case you’ll switch seats with me, right?”
30-year-old UFC fighter Ronda Rousey and her 34-year-old UFC fighter boyfriend Travis Browne have been dating for almost two years, and they announced their engagement to a pap on the street in Marina Del Rey earlier today. How tastefully famewhorey of them.
Travis say he proposed under a waterfall in New Zealand about a week ago because it seemed like the right place to do it. Wrong. Proposing so close to water is the wrong place to do it. One bad move and that engagement ring is property of the fishes.
This will be Ronda’s first marriage and Travis’ third. Ronda and Travis got together while he was still technically married to his second wife, Jenna Webb. Although their marriage ended with Webb accusing Travis of domestic violence. Um. Yeah, ok then. Something tells me they’re going to skip that part of their love story during the slideshow at the reception.
Ronda says they don’t have a wedding date, but she hopes they get married soon. She also says she doesn’t really know how to plan a wedding. Well Ronda, I happen to have watched every episode of Wedding SOS, so I know how to throw together a dream wedding. Ronda and Travis are both pretty big in the MMA world, it would make sense that they get married in muscle shirts. Instead of exchanging rings, they could exchange mouth guards. “You may now kiss the bride” would be “You may now body slam your husband into the cake.”