After less than a year of dating, 28-year-old Joe Jonas and 21-year-old Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones) have decided to make it a permanent thing by getting married. How I hope he keeps the Baby Magnum P.I. moustache for his wedding day. There’s nothing more romantic than wiping a snot sniffle out of your upper lip warmer.
(SPOILER ALERT) Ygritte may have died on Game of Thrones but the actress who played her, Rose Leslie, is still laying all up in Jon Snow’s stinky bed of pelts. According to People, Kit Harington (AKA Klit Hairytongue) and Rose Leslie are engaged to be married, dooming them to forever being asked to act out the line “You know nothing Jon Snow” for the rest of their natural days. I had no idea these two were a thing in real life but apparently she’s been sheathing his Longclaw for some time.
It’s a dark day here at Dlisted. Prince Harry might be engaged, and it’s not to a certain American blogger named Michael K. In the spirit of hope, I’ll be choosing to treat this news as just a silly long-running rumor. Ha ha ha, look at this? The Daily Star UK is saying that Prince Harry is engaged to his girlfriend Meghan Markle! Oh what a fun thought.
I am not kidding when I say I just looked out my window to check and see if any large, scary gray clouds filled the sky. I got this nervous feeling that the remaining Twihards (their numbers may be small, but their obsession is strong) might collectively react to this news by mentally manifesting an angry storm. Thankfully they might be kept busy trying to decode Robert Pattinson’s purposefully cryptic message.
Patton Oswalt and his girlfriend, actress Meredith Salenger (that’s Lainie Diamond from Dream a Little Dream and Natty Gann to us children of the 80s), made their public debut as a couple at the Baby Driver premiere last month, and now a minute later, they’re engaged. Hey, life is short, and I guess when you find someone you want to do regularly and can stand to be in the same room for more than 15 minutes, you ruin it all by making it legal!
I’m sure you missed the engagement ring on Lance Armstrong’s lady’s hand because you were too transfixed by the lens flares that make it look like she’s shooting streams of liquid hot magma into his chest. But yes, she’s wearing that type on ring on her marriage finger.
Cycling scam artist Lance Armstrong announced yesterday on Instagram that he was getting married to his longtime girlfriend Anna Hansen. Lance posted the above pic with the caption: “She said….YES!” You know, just once I’d love to see a celebrity break from tradition and Instagram a picture of a ring box in the trash with a caption that says: “She said NO #tears #sadness #foreveralone.”
Lance and Anna have been together for almost nine years. They have two kids together (Max, 7, and Olivia, 6). Lance has three teenagers from his first marriage to Kristin Richard. He was also once engaged to Sheryl Crow.
A little over two years ago, Anna took the fall for Lance after they left a party in Aspen, CO and he hit two parked cars with his SUV. Lance finally owned up to it after Anna told police she was covering for Lance to prevent his pristine reputation from being dragged through the news. That was very ride-or-die of Anna. I hope that if Lance and Anna write their own vows, he remembers to include something about that. “I Lance, take you Anna, to be my forever accomplice on this journey called life. I promise that whenever I need an excuse, I’ll always come to you first baby. You’ll always be buckled into the passenger seat of my heart…unless I fuck up, in which case you’ll switch seats with me, right?”