No awards show is complete until us, the people, raise our pitchforks and scream our nipples off over who was left out of the In Memoriam tribute. The Emmys was no exception, but the people didn’t only throw shit bombs at producers over who was left out, shit bombs were thrown over who was put in too.
While there’s nothing wrong with being a book lover, there is something a tad…off…if you show up to the Emmy Awards as a nominee and announce you don’t have time for the boob tube since you’re too busy being nose deep in the latest Nancy Drew mystery to catch up on Westworld. Of course, this did not strike Miss Shailene Woodley as absurd when she decided to take a night off from eating insects and clay in the Shire to show up to last night’s Emmy Awards.
I hope Emmy nominee and former HSOTD Jackie Hoffman wakes up this morning smiling with no regrets after losing to Laura Dern in the best supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie category. Because today, when you do a Google search for “sore loser” you will find a galaxy of memes with Jackie’s picture and the words “DAMN IT!!!” written underneath.
I’m not gonna lie to y’all. I have about three minutes of patience for awards shows anymore because once they start getting into the snooze fest categories like Best Craft Service Chicken Nuggets I’m ready to jump ship like Jack and Rose. I wish I would have stuck around last night though because history was made once again when This Is Us actor Sterling K. Brown became the fourth African American actor to take home the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. And how did they commemorate this momentous occasion? By rudely playing him off before he could finish his speech.
A bunch of people won Creative Arts Emmys this weekend. Special shout outs to my pretend BFF RuPaul on his second (!!!) win, my pretend hometown homescratch W. Kamau Bell, and the only Press Secretary I acknowledge, Melissa McCarthy, for guest actress on SNL. Other big winners included HBO and Netflix for a gang on shows, drama queen Ryan Murphy, and those meddling kids of Stranger Things.
But the most delicious win goes to Leah Remini, who continues to be the stiletto fingernail in the side of the Church of Scientology. And if Leah’s win is any indication, she’s not going to stop jabbing them with it anytime soon.
The nominations for the 69th (lol) Primetime Emmy Awards were announced early this morning by Anna Chlumsky and Shemar Moore, and I kept waiting for them to announce they would only need about 2 minutes of our time because Maya Rudolph had been nominated for everything. That didn’t happen.
If you watched the third season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, you know the highlight came from when Titus Andromedon (spoiler alert!) confessed he had eaten Miss Dionne Warwick after taking her place in a cruise ship performance of Mahogany. We learn he didn’t actually eat her (no hussy messes with Dionne). Maya Rudolph played Dionne. And she did her as Dionne with a side of Maya, which is really how all impressions should be served.
Maya’s performance of Dionne should have at least nabbed her an Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series nomination, but no! The Emmy voters snubbed her A+ performance, and now I’m humming That’s NOT What Friends Are For while wiping back a tear. But they did nominate a whole lot of other people, which are included after the cut.