Every year, there’s always a giant chunk of celebrities at the Met Gala who completely wet fart on the theme and go with their own, which is usually: Rejected Dresses Leftover From Awards Season. Even Anna Wintour showed up to this year’s Met Gala in some dusty dress that Carol Channing definitely wore a million times better in the 1960s (see: Anna Wintour in the gallery below looking like a sad lamp from Liberace’s least favorite guest room). While watching the Vogue live feed of the Met Gala last night, some bland, I forgot who, said something about how she wanted to be comfortable. Bitch, if you want to be comfortable, stay at home in your sweats and t-shirt and watch the live feed while sitting on your futon like the rest of us do! You’re doing the Met Gala completely wrong if it doesn’t take six assistants, a registered nurse, a long plastic hose, a thing of KY and a janitor with a mop to help you piss.
But in last night’s sea of basic (see: the sea of basic in the gallery after the cut), there were a few bright spots of fuckery who actually paid attention in class when the theme was given. Enter: RiRi!
American Horror Story victims Evan Peters and Emma Roberts are reportedly once more betrothed. These
might actually be crazy kids are the very definition of on-again/off-again. “Are we engaged this minute?” Evan asks Emma, who usually responds by allegedly biting him.
Hot weirdo Evan Peters and Julia Roberts’ maybe-crazy niece Emma Roberts called it quits for the 1.7 millionth time back in May. If American Horror Story ever did a season based around Groundhog Day, this would be the B storyline. Because once again, Emma Roberts and Evan Peters are back together.
Sad. When two people who love each other so much they both start to morph into the His n’ Hers version of an Urban Outfitters manager can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have?
According to UsWeekly, almost one year since they dumped their relationship in the trash the first time, Emma Roberts and Evan Peters are calling it quits again. Multiple sources say that it was “amicable“, a word which is tied with the phrase “over the moon” for the most popular adjective to describe how a famous person is feeling about something that has happened in their personal life. Emma and Evan got with each other way back in 2012 on the set of a movie, and then got engaged in 2014. Based on a statistic I just made up, two breakups usually mean the wedding probably isn’t going to happen. With that being said, I wonder which of them will get custody of Ryan Murphy?
Not much else is known about why 25-year-old Emma and 29-year-old Evan couldn’t make it work a second time. My guess is that it ended because Emma told Evan who the Red Devil was two episodes into Scream Queens, and Evan decided he just couldn’t be with the type of person who was so casual about spoilers. That, or Evan’s chiropractor gave him the bad news that ducking so many slaps and punches had put his neck at risk for a C7 vertebrae fracture and that just one more fight could snap his spine.
Here’s Emma holding a purse that looks like a Muppets’ diaphragm at the FOX Upfronts yesterday, and Evan at the UK premiere of X-Men: Apocalypse last week.
When two sources “confirmed” that Kerry Washington had another baby growing in her belly yesterday, I made a joke that Kerry would confirm it herself by posing on the red carpet of the Met Gala with her hand placed on her stomach. And last night Kerry Washington hit the Met Gala red carpet with her hand on her stomach. Although I almost didn’t notice that hand because I was too distracted by that purple hair. Mon Dieu (splashes self with holy water), that hair! I am so conflicted. It’s not permanent (Instagram tells me that those are extensions), so that’s good. It sort of looks like the kind of fake hair you’d find on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which makes me want to pour myself a hot mug of penicillin. On the other hand, it looks like it was found on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which means it’s 100% pure fake hair perfection.
I’ve known some pregnant people, and one thing I’ve gleaned is that sometimes being knocked up makes you do some crazy things. Case in point: the gorgeous black lace boudoir ensemble Kerry is wearing. I feel like non-knocked up Kerry wouldn’t wear that. But knocked up Kerry? Sure! The more black lace the better. Or maybe this is Kerry’s way of paying tribute to Prince. If Prince designed maternity clothes, I’m almost positive that’s what he’d make.
Kerry didn’t exactly do much with the technology theme, but there were a few people who tried. Let’s start with Demi Lovato.
I’ve been putting up crosses, pictures of the baby Jesus and lighting prayer candles all week to protect myself from the impending apocalypse, which started yesterday. Hell fire rained down, demons joyously jumped through fields and string headband sales skyrocketed. My friends, pray with me… Coachella is upon us. Thankfully, I live on the East Coast, so I’m not in the danger zone, but these things spread. The hell mouth that has opened up in California to let loose boho dresses and string fringe vests could very well continue to grow and swallow the whole world. Let’s take a look at some of the devastation.