Mary Poppins Returns, the upcoming sequel to 1964’s Mary Poppins, isn’t out until December 2018, but we’re slowly being fed spoonfuls of it. There’s been the back of Emily Blunt as Mary Poppins, then we saw some on-set pap shots of, again, Emily’s back. Now we’ve got some glossy pics courtesy of Entertainment Weekly.
We’ve been shitting up post after post from last night’s Adele Appreciation Ceremony (Featuring Adele Appreciating Beyonce), but another awards show happened yesterday. Two weeks before Hollywood gets dressed up in $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the Oscars, they got into $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the BAFTAs last night.
Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.
Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.
Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.
It’s too bad The Hollywood Reporter couldn’t secure Jessica Fletcher, who is obviously the number-one spot on that 25 Power Authors list, for a cover shoot. Since she’s too busy solving murders on the east coast to pose for pictures, they got the next best thing, which is apparently The Girl on the Train author Paula Hawkins and Emily Blunt. Emily stars in the film adaptation of The Girl on the Train. I haven’t read the book, but I did watch the trailer. Emily’s character Rachel is an always-drunk who can’t stop stalking her ex-husband and maybe might have murdered someone. Some might describe her character as “unlikable.” But don’t call her that around Emily Blunt. Emily Blunt hates that word.
Despite the fact that I know it’s physically impossible for a human woman to carry a baby for more than 9-ish months, it honestly feels like Emily Blunt was pregnant for at least two years. She was very knocked-up while promoting The Huntsman: Winter’s War, which again, feels like it happened last year, but apparently that was only back in April. Regardless of the black hole that is my memory, Emily Blunt finally gave birth to the second baby she made with John Krasinski.
Just like the first time they announced they had made a baby, Jim from The Office confirmed the news yesterday on Twitter. Apparently Emily popped out Baby Blunt two weeks ago. I don’t know if that’s technically long enough to consider this a “secret baby” situation. I’ll have to double check with the Secret Celebrity Baby Manual.
What better way to celebrate the 4th… than to announce our 4th family member!!! 2 weeks ago we met our beautiful daughter Violet #Happy4th
— John Krasinski (@johnkrasinski) July 4, 2016
New baby Violet Krasinski is Emily and John’s second daughter. They already have a 2-year-old daughter named Hazel.
Emily Blunt is going to play Mary Poppins in an upcoming movie. So it’s sort of fitting that her kids would sound like Jane and Michael Banks’even-wealthier cousins from the English countryside who look down on their city cousins for having a nanny that fell randomly from the sky and bangs the dude who cleans their chimney. However, on the Famous Baby Name scale, Hazel and Violet are pretty normal. Yes, they sound like two color options on a services list at a Tumblr-inspired salon on Melrose that only does pastel hair jobs and nose rings (free tattoo choker with every piercing). But when you’re dealing with options that include “Steak” or “Ode Mountain” or “Juppiter“, Hazel and Violet are practically Ella and Madison.
There’s this tiny little movie that’s just come out, you probably haven’t even heard of it or seen any ads for it. No, sorry. I meant the opposite of that. The Huntsman: Winter’s War finally came out this weekend and has been assaulting us from every angle for what feels like ages now. It’s like everywhere I turn there’s a picture or video of Charlize Theron in that gold medieval drag get up. Well, the joke’s on Universal because this all out attack on our eyes, ears and nerves backfired. The Hunstman flopped this weekend.
The sans Kristen Stewart prequel/sequel/whocaresquel has a grade A Hollywood star cast – Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Emily Blunt and Jessica Chastain – but that wasn’t enough to get American butts into American movie theater seats, reports the Hollywood Reporter. Emphasis on the American because it’s made a little over $80 million overseas in the past two weeks. But it brought in only $20 million here on its opening weekend. The first movie opened with $56 million here in the States and went on to make over $396 million worldwide.
This second mess cost $115 million to make and it’ll make that back, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for another one of these. Please God, don’t let them make another one of these, there is only so much we can take of Charlize’s wreck of an accent. People chose to see the new Jungle Book over the adult version of Frozen in a very big way because it continued to destroy everything else in theaters, making another $60 million. Poor Chris Hemsworth, nothing but the Thor movies seem to work for him. But he’s making unfathomable amounts of money from those and probably from this, so, no, actually I don’t care. Those Marvel hoes will never get any pity from me!
The weekend’s top five movies were:
1. The Jungle Book – $60.8 million
2. The Huntsman: Winter’s War – $20 million
3. Barbershop: The Next Cut – $10.9 million
4. Zootopia – $6.6 million
5. The Boss – $6.1 million