You knew it would only be a matter of time before Oprah had words for Donald Trump after he called her “insecure” and “biased” after her 60 Minutes segment last Sunday. I honestly didn’t think she would respond at all so he could follow up with a desperate “Come At Me O!” tweet. But Oprah had a little help from her friend Ellen DeGeneres who came to her aid and gave her the opportunity to respond to the tweet herself during her talk show.
It was Ellen DeGeneres’ 60th birthday on January 26, and the celebration episodes of her show air this week. She tweeted a photo of her posing with Michelle Obama and Jennifer Aniston yesterday, and I assumed that meant they’d spend an episode celebrating by reenacting an episode of Friends since Michelle seems like SUCH a Monica. Instead, we got to find out what was in that Tiffany’s box Melania Trump handed her on the front steps of the White House the day of Donald Trump’s inauguration.
We will always have Sex and The City to thank for the divine inspiration that led Michael to gift us with the moniker Rojo Caliente. For that I am thankful. But I, and I think many Americans, have successfully moved the fuck on. And late last year, the hookers of SATC seemed to have come to terms with the end of the road after Kim Cattrall said she couldn’t take it anymore and put the kibosh on a third installment of the movie franchise. I mean, they went down kicking and screaming and clawing each others eyes out, but it seemed like it was safe to toss the dirt on the coffin. Not so fast! Sarah Jessica Parker was on Ellen recently and made it sound as if SATC might have been buried alive.
The day before Donald Trump and Steve Bannon went from tongue boning each other in the asshole to eating each other alive (and definitely not in a sexy way), the Trump son who isn’t Don Jr. or Barron, decided to remind people that he exists by putting on his tin foil MAGA cap to say that he believes that Ellen DeGeneres is a secret member of an organization that is trying to undermine his dad. (SPOILER ALERT: The organization that is trying to undermine Trump exists in Trump’s head since it’s his own brain.)
Whenever I think of Nicki Minaj, I automatically picture the black version of Rapunzel with a weave so long, my nieces could play Double Dutch from opposite ends of the street. And with her ass so overly inflated, I’m surprised she hasn’t floated far, far away to dine with Shrek, Fiona and Donkey yet. In other words, she’s saying “go away now I’m tired of you.”
A Jessica Simpson interview is usually awkward wrapped in messy and doused with cringe-fuel, but shit really got awkward on yesterday’s episode of Ellen. Jessica went on Ellen to promote her billion dollar fashion (and whatever she puts her name on) empire, but it seemed more like a PSA for what happens to your brain when mix you wine, pills, nervousness and trying to be funny.