When Charlie calls up his angels in the upcoming Charlie’s Angels reboot, he won’t hear Lupita Nyong’o purr “Good morning, Charlie” through the other end of the speaker receiver. But he will hear Kristen Stewart moan, “Why haven’t you, like, learned how to text yet. Like, no one uses the fucking phone anymore.”
It’s really, really time for Candy Finnigan of Intervention to gather all of Hollywood’s loved ones in the room of an economy hotel, and lead them in begging Hollywood to finally put down the crack pipe and get some help! Because they’ve gone too far when they start thinking about making Kristen Stewart a fucking Charlie’s Angel!
This week, Elizabeth Banks claimed in an acceptance speech at the Women In Film Awards that Steven Spielberg had never directed a film with a female lead. He of course has (The Color Purple). Elizabeth took shit for it from the internet. Elizabeth is now very sorry for coming for Steven Spielberg without doing her research first.
On Tuesday night, Elizabeth Banks accepted the Crystal Award for Excellence in Film at the 2017 Crystal + Lucy Awards in Los Angeles. During her acceptance speech, she pointed out the lack of good female roles available in Hollywood. It didn’t go as well as she probably hoped.
Every year, there’s always a giant chunk of celebrities at the Met Gala who completely wet fart on the theme and go with their own, which is usually: Rejected Dresses Leftover From Awards Season. Even Anna Wintour showed up to this year’s Met Gala in some dusty dress that Carol Channing definitely wore a million times better in the 1960s (see: Anna Wintour in the gallery below looking like a sad lamp from Liberace’s least favorite guest room). While watching the Vogue live feed of the Met Gala last night, some bland, I forgot who, said something about how she wanted to be comfortable. Bitch, if you want to be comfortable, stay at home in your sweats and t-shirt and watch the live feed while sitting on your futon like the rest of us do! You’re doing the Met Gala completely wrong if it doesn’t take six assistants, a registered nurse, a long plastic hose, a thing of KY and a janitor with a mop to help you piss.
But in last night’s sea of basic (see: the sea of basic in the gallery after the cut), there were a few bright spots of fuckery who actually paid attention in class when the theme was given. Enter: RiRi!
We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that.