Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.
Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.
I’m sure many people, myself included, were hoping and praying for some high drama at the Golden Globes last night. The moment Elisabeth Moss’ name was called as the winner for Best Actress in a Television Series Drama for The Handmaid’s Tale I braced myself for a messy moment. I was disappointed.
Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.
Elisabeth Moss is a talented actress who’s been in a number of quality projects (Mad Men, Top Of The Lake, that earnest yet somehow sensual Excedrin Migraine commercial). But talented people can have faults. Like being cultists! Elisabeth’s a big-time follower of what happened when L. Ron Hubbard obviously bet a pal he could make millions by starting his own wacky religion. She’s way dedicated. Hence, her reportedly bouncing from the room when Scientology Suppressive Personality #1 Leah Remini won a Television Critics Award earlier this month.
The Television Critics Awards were held last week and Leah Remini won an award for Outstanding Achievement in Reality Programming for her show Scientology and the Aftermath, which is a scathing rebuke of Scientology. Also attending the awards ceremony was Elisabeth Moss. She was there as a nominee for her role in A Handmaid’s Tale. Well, when time came for Leah to accept her award, Elisabeth was all “Xenu, take me away!” and quit that bitch, because Elisabeth is all about that Thetan life.
The craziest members of the Hiddlestoners have been accused of doing some insane shit like jumping on him at events, nearly trampling each other to get an autograph from him, following him home and on and on and on and on… (“Eh, is that all?” said a Cumberbitch before breaking into B. Cums’ bedroom to rub their bare crotch on all of his unworn underwear.) Tom Hiddleston has said before that he’s sick of being asked to take selfies and some of his fans can get obsessive by telling him that he’s solely responsible for certain things that have happened to them in their lives. In other words, some are insane. During an interview with The Guardian to promote Crimson Peak, Tom was asked about his over-obsessed fans and he said these words of polite diplomatic poetry about the whole situation:
“[It’s] an odd experience. But I won’t be the first person to have thought that. I’m only in control of my own integrity. I’m accountable for everything I’ve done and I understand that. Everything else is out of my control.”
That’s either a polite way of saying, “Get some integrity too, you crazy bitches!” or it’s a polite way of letting everyone know that he carries pepper spray and always has a stack of restraining orders in his jacket pocket.
Tumblr’s favorite fap material continued to talk about integrity when he was asked about his public persona:
“I have tried with all my power for there not to be any inauthenticity. There is no version of me presented to you that’s been created or is artificial. The people I’ve always respected have an integrity that is unassailable.”
And he’s so careful about his public persona that he’s not going to talk about politics (take note, rest of Hollywood).
“I’m not in the business of being politically divisive. I don’t want to set a precedent. It’s a private matter. I believe in kindness. I believe very profoundly in that. I believe in bravery and courage, in being true to your word … Very unfashionable.”
The Guardian’s interviewer said that Tom was very careful with his words, because he knows the game and knows that there’s a chance his quotes can be taken out of context. I feel that, because in this interview, he sounded like a cross between Jesus and the hero in a Disney movie. I don’t know whether I want to lay at his Jesus sandals and listen to him talk about “integrity” or help him put his dragon-fighting armor on as he gives a speech about “bravery.” Oh God, I hope that doesn’t mean I’m turning into a fucking Hiddlestoner.
And here’s Tom at the BFI London Film Festival premiere of High Rise with Elisabeth Moss and Sienna Miller who is wearing something that Marcia Brady would wear if she joined a cult in the 70s.