Category: Edo Mozzi
Princess Beatrice Revealed The Name Of Her Daughter, And The Queen Got A Shout Out
About two weeks after she burst into this world and temporarily yanked the spotlight off her granddaddy (a move I’m sure he’ll be forever grateful for), Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi’s baby daughter’s got a name, which they revealed on social media earlier today, and a fancy Italian royal title, as expected.
Princess Beatrice Is Pregnant With Her First Child
I don’t know if Queen Elizabeth splurges hard on ultra-expensive, deeply impractical baby gifts for her grandbabies, like hand-engraved platinum-dipped Diaper Genies, or if she’s the type to send a Buckingham Palace guard down to the shops with a fist-full of $20s to pick up a couple of y gift cards. But whatever type of Great Granny she is, she better double up on her 2021 baby gift budget. Because The Queen isn’t just expecting one new great-grandchild, but two. Ten months after their tiny socially distanced pandemic wedding, Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi are expecting their first child.
Princess Beatrice And Edo Mozzi Finally Pulled The Trigger And Quietly Married
Well, Edoardo Mapeli Mozzi blew his last chance to avoid being related to Prince Andrew and The Original Fergie. According to People, Edo and Princess Beatrice finally just went ahead and did the damn thing. They were married this morning in a private ceremony at The Royal Chapel of All Saints at Royal Lodge, Windsor (AKA her parent’s house). The ceremony was attended by a handful of close friends and family and was conducted “in accordance with all relevant Government Guidelines,” How romantic! It marked the first time THE QUEEN and Prince Philip have left their Quoronaqueentine (™) bubble since going into lockdown with 22 of their most loyal staff, 19 of which are in charge of operating Philip’s puppet-matronics.
Princess Beatrice’s May Wedding Has Officially Been Canceled Because Of Coronavirus
Coronavirus just put on a pair of earplugs because the sound of an angry princess screeching at it is strong enough to take it out, finally.
In news we all saw coming faster than a virgin during his first time, Princess Beatrice and her fiance Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi (both giving you “zombie deers caught in the headlights” in the picture above) have decided that getting married on May 29 is just not possible. And the thought of picking out a replacement date hasn’t even entered their heads yet, so they say.
Princess Beatrice Might Just Have A Really Big Post-Coronavirus Wedding Next Year To Boost Morale
Edoardo Mapeli Mozzi has just been given yet another chance to cut and run before throws it all away by marrying into Britain’s #1 crime family. The Peaky Blinders ain’t got nothing on The Yorks! According to The Daily Mail, Princess Beatrice may now be looking to postpone her wedding for an entire year in the hopes that a big splashy royal wedding will be just the thing to “bolster the nation’s morale” after the coronavirus lockdown has ended. Apparently, Bea’s still chasing the dream of having a wedding to rival that of her sister Princess Eugenie’s, perhaps forgetting that that spectacle was deemed a ratings flop and waste of taxpayer money. I guess the oxygen level on whatever planet Bea is living on is thinner than her dad Prince Andrew’s Pizza Express Defense.
Princess Beatrice’s Wedding Reception At Buckingham Palace Has Been Canceled Due To Coronavirus
I feel like the universe has been trying to tell Princess Beatrice that the royal wedding of her dreams just ain’t gonna happen since the day she was born to that toe-sucking aficionado Original Fergie and that FBI dodger Prince Andrew. Even if neither of her parents’ many scandals over the years have managed to put the kibosh on it completely, in struts the coronavirus threatening to lick all the silverware and replace all of the DJ’s records with scratched singles of The Macarena. According to People, Bea’s scheduled May 29 wedding to Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi, has now been postponed for the third time. ¡Hey, Macarena!