The human representation of Taylor Swift Marketing Ploy #25 (“Platonically befriend dudes who don’t look like your other model friends so the world sees you’re not shallow.“), Ed Sheeran, got engaged. Hopefully his future bride didn’t see him in that “End Game” video. Please stop chucking the deuces, Ed. Bodies are still frozen mid-cringe after watching that. She might call off the wedding! (Oh, and Darren Criss got engaged, too.) Continue reading
Someone in Destiny’s Child must have been sending Beyoncé one too many of those “If you don’t forward this to 18 people in the next hour, a hurricane will come and destroy you” emails, because Ed Sheeran says he has to start each week getting Queen B’s new Gmail address. Continue reading
Ed Sheeran might be giving the universal hand signal for “all good” in that picture with Lady Gaga. But lo and behold, not all has been good for Ed Sheeran when it comes to Lady Gaga and her Little Monsters. Ed admitted during an interview with The Sun on Sunday that he quit Twitter, and it was because he couldn’t handle all the hate.
Ed Sheeran, the man who looks like he was born in The Shire to a couple named Singsong and Marygold (oh crap, wrong magical book series), will guest star on HBOs Game of Thrones. Vanity Fair says that GoT creators D.B. Weiss and David Benioff confirmed the news during a SXSW panel on Sunday. Ed will show up in an episode in the 7th season, which starts on July 16th.
Ed Sheeran did an interview with Rolling Stone to pimp out his new album, Divide, and of course, Taylor Swift’s name dropped out of his mouth during it. If Ed doesn’t dribble out her name during an interview, he will disintegrate into a pile of dust. The sole reason for Ed Sheeran’s existence is to name drop Taylor Swift in interviews! Not only did Ed Sheeran drop Tay Tay’s name for the 4,098,765th time, but he also said that some of her squad members have gotten a taste of his ginger hobbit dick. Don’t worry, squad members who have fucked Ed, he didn’t name names. I’m sure the ginger John Mayer is saving that for the promo tour for his next album.
Ed Sheeran is once again acting like a one-man publicist for Taylor Swift. Ed recently spoke to the BBC and they got into the topic of Taylor’s next album. Taylor’s last album, 1989 (aka the match that ignited her feud with Katy Perry) was released in October of 2014. That’s almost two and a half years ago. According to Ed, Taylor Swift’s sixth album will drop in 2017. He knows this because his album ÷ (yes, that’s really the title) is releasing this week, and he’d kind of like it to get some attention before Taylor comes in with her album and the music industry becomes The Taylor Swift Show again.
“I think this year is going to be the high point. I have a feeling about it. Seventeen is my lucky number, and everyone I was scared of releasing of albums around me released them all last year. Taylor [Swift] isn’t going to be releasing until probably the end of this year – Christmas is the smartest time to release because that’s when everyone buys records. So I’ve got a full year of just all Ed, all the time.”
Ed is in so much goddamn trouble. Now that everyone knows Taylor has an album coming out, Tom Hiddleston, Calvin Harris, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Frank Ocean, election haters, and everyone else who has dared to hurt the feelings of dear sweet Taylor over the past two and a half years can start preparing their clap backs to her victim tunes. If they already have responses ready to drop 0.3 seconds after her album, that means she can’t drag out the drama for the better part of a year. She’ll only be able to drag it out for like, two, maybe three months. Tragic!