Category: Ed Harris
Tom Cruise Arrived On The Red Carpet For The Premiere Of “Top Gun: Maverick” In A Helicopter
It took 36 years, but Tom Cruise has finally busted his Top Gun: Maverick nut all over the windshield of his F-14 Tomcat, which is probably why he had to fly onto the red carpet for yesterday’s premiere in a helicopter. Tom’s jizz is filled with thetens (that’s how he sheds them) which, if you’ve ever seen a mirror in a bathroom at a Scientology Center, you know are next to impossible to remove. So Tom’s Tomcat probably had to be decommissioned. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the four-hour-long red carpet extravaganza was held in San Diego aboard the USS Midway, a retired aircraft carrier. This means I can finally be honorably discharged, WITH DISTINCTION, for my tireless dedication to making up goof names for Top Gun 2: Secrets of The Bottom Drawer. And with that, I am out. May you have fair winds and following seas. I’ll take my 21-gun salute to go.
Jon Hamm Will Squeeze The Hammaconda Into A “Top Gun” Flight Suit
As if the addition of Miles Teller didn’t add enough douche bro fumes to the upcoming reboot of Top Gun, the ghost of Jon Hamm’s fraternity hazing past will also be haunting the set. Deadline reports that in addition to Jon, Ed Harris, and Lewis Pullman (son of MY president Bill Pullman), will also be joining the cast of Top Gun 2: Look Who’s Topping.
The “Westworld” Season 2 Trailer Dropped
Because HBO is making us wait 900 years for the final season of Game Of Thrones, they’re releasing the other shows they make you wait 900 years between seasons. One of them is Westworld! If you’ve been sobbing since 2016 while looking for a robot Annie Oakley uprising, dry ‘dem tears. The second season is coming in just a few weeks. And HBO released the full first trailer today.
Just Give “Pain And Gain” The Best Costume Oscar Already
Up until now, I was ready to campaign for that Spring Breakers mess to collect the Best Costume Oscar for filling its wardrobe closet with sophisticated ensembles bought at a Panama Beach City bikini store that also sells Pall Malls and piña Colada mix. But EVERYTHING has changed with these pictures from the Miami set of Pain and Gain, a movie about two bodybuilders involved an extortion ring (think Hans and Franz but way gayer) starring Marky Mark, The Rock, Ed Harris and Anthony Mackie. The vision of 80s perfection above is Spanish-Dutch (Sputch) actress Yolanthe Sneijder-Cabau and her ensemble was sprayed out of a pink AquaNet bottle.
From the Camp Beverly Hills half shirt to the Freestyle Reeboks to the high-waisted surfer pants, this entire look is a snap bracelet away from being the official uniform of every girl in my second grade class. That whole picture smells like Love’s Baby Soft. If the entire movie was just Yolanthe busting moves to a Deniece Williams song blaring from a hot pink boom box, I’d copy it to VHS and watch it until the tape snapped.
