Category: Dustin Diamond
Dustin Diamond Has Passed Away At The Age Of 44
It was just a few weeks ago when we learned that Dustin Diamond was hospitalized in Florida. The prognosis ended up being stage 4 small cell carcinoma. And now we’ve learned the sad news that Saturday morning 90s teen TV legend, Dustin Diamond, has died after his short battle with cancer.
Dustin Diamond Thinks He Got Cancer from Staying In Moldy Motel Rooms
Oh wow. Maybe the most depressing headline ever to grace this site, and that is saying something. A couple of weeks ago Saved by the Bell’s Dustin Diamond was admitted to the hospital for pain all over his body. Doctors suspected cancer, and, after running a bunch of tests, his rep confirmed the bad news: Dustin was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell carcinoma. It’s a type of aggressive lung cancer, and stage 4 is obviously not good. But here’s the thing; small cell carcinoma is usually caused by smoking, but Dustin’s never been a smoker. He suspects it has something to do with all the seedy motels he’s stayed at over the years.
Dustin Diamond Is In The Hospital, Cancer Feared
To say Dustin Diamond has struggled since child stardom would be putting it mildly. He’s been broke, made a sex tape, wrote a tell-all memoir entitled Behind the Bell (in which he claimed to have banged 2,000 women), stabbed a guy in a bar fight, went to jail, got out, went to jail again, and appeared on Celebrity Big Brother with Courtney Stodden. OK, that last one’s actually something to brag about. But this past weekend was another hard time for Dustin; he was hospitalized in Florida, and the prognosis is likely cancer.
Lark Voorhies Is Sad She Wasn’t Asked Back For The “Saved By The Bell” Reboot
As I’m sure you’ve heard, NBC is rebooting Saved by the Bell for two very important reasons: 1. It’s 2020 so you have to revive anything that flickered onto our TV screens for even one goddamn second (still unironically waiting on that Just Shoot Me reboot, by the way), and, 2. Monies. Last we heard, the King of Smug Blonde Privilege himself, Zack Morris (aka Mark-Paul Gosselaar), had signed on to star, along with Jessie “Elizabeth Berkley” Spano, and A.C. “Mario Lopez” Slater. But what about Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Dustin Diamond, and Lark Voorhies? Well, no official word from Tiffani or Dustin (but, like, Dustin Diamond ain’t getting asked, let’s be real), but our beloved Lisa Turtle confirmed she wasn’t offered to be a part of it. Lark Voorhies discussed her sadness over the snub on Dr. Oz, while giving us business woman Marilyn Monroe.
Screech Introduced RPatz To American Fine Dining
In most random of random news, Robert Pattinson called into On Air with Ryan Seacrest to promote that movie where he was asked to do some questionable shit with a dog. UsWeekly says he also mentioned how, nine years ago, he and Dustin Diamond were once roommates. Zoinks! The two lived in a Burbank apartment complex called Oakwood, which was known to be the home of many people pursuing acting careers.
Now, nine years ago, RPatz was climbing up the ladder to play wizards and vampires. Dustin, however, was post-Saved By The Bell and venturing into films that certainly wouldn’t be on NBC’s Saturday morning lineup. But thank screech Rob wasn’t a roommate snob, otherwise he would have missed out on learning about one of America’s most valuable delicacies:
“I was with Screech, Dustin Diamond. I loved it. I really miss it. Dustin was the first person to introduce me to Hot Pockets!”
What do you miss most, Rob? Would you don a Tiffani Amber Thiesen wig and run lines with Screech to remember the glory days? I’d miss that, too! As for Hot Pockets…damn, dude. Maybe that’s why Kristen Stewart always looked so sour while y’all dated? Hating the paparazzi was just a front!
Tragically, the smell of a pepperoni hot pocket nuking away in the microwave will not be the smell Dustin is most known for, but we’ll leave that one be. And maybe hope, for Screech’s sake, he can get a few pockets while locked up in the pokey. Happy Labor Day!
Pic: Wenn.com
Screech Is Back In Jail Again
A little more than a month after being released early from jail for good behavior, Dustin Diamond, aka Screech from Saved By The Bell, is back in again. The fuck-up is truly strong with this one. Page Six says that Screech was arrested in Wisconsin on Wednesday after violating the terms of his parole.
An official wouldn’t say how he violated the terms. Maybe he showed the terms a clip of his sex tape? But they did confirm that he was in custody due to a probation whoopsie. Screech was put away for pulling a switchblade on a guy in a bar and stabbing him, so the obvious guess would be that his probation officer caught within 100 feet of a bar or a switchblade or the guy or something. However, sources tells TMZ that Screech’s arrest is drug related. Goddamn it, Screech, didn’t you learn anything from that PSA you made with Brandon Tartikoff? There’s no hope with dope!
I know that Dustin Diamond is like a moth to a forever fucking up flame, but damn if he didn’t go back to jail sooner than I expected. It’s barely been six weeks. Not to mention that only last week he was on Extra telling Mario Lopez that he wanted to put the “tomfoolery and malarkey” behind him and focus on starting a family. Maybe he missed jail too much and wanted to go back. But why? Who misses being in jail? Were Screech and his fellow inmates keeping themselves entertained by acting out old episodes of Saved by the Bell, and his early release fucked up the production schedule? “Look, I need to get back inside. They’re doing the fake IDs episode next week, and I’m the only one who knows the blocking for the scene at The Attic!”