If Pimp Mama Kris strikes sex tape gold
en showers again, this won’t be the first time I write “Kendall,” “Kylie” and “Piss” in a headline.
Whoever is in charge of the clothing crap that Kendall and Kylie Jenner push on their website thought it would be a really good idea to peddle t-shirts with their faces and initials on top of pictures of music icons without getting permission. There’s at least 200 members in PMK’s koven and so you’d think she’d make one of them take a crash course in the law so that dumb shit like this doesn’t happen. PMK should send Sushi Kardashian West to a law class. Sushi seems the smartest of that bunch.
Here I was thinking that Pimp Mama Kris was the komedian of the koven (see: PMK saying that everyone can relate to at least one member of her stable of fame whores), but Caitlyn Jenner proved that she’s got fresher and edgier jokes!
And here I thought I was going to take the title of Trick Who Had The Most Pathetic Memorial Day Weekend by passing out in a plastic pool on the front lawn after getting drunk on vodka and Country Time lemonade by myself, but Tiger Woods has me beat. The Dramatic Fall of Tiger Woods just got a new chapter…
It’s a damn good thing I’m not a woman looking for a good man, because my business card proudly states I’m a “Slut, Skeezer, Ho And Tramp-At-Large.”
Tyrese’s bald head has been firmly stuck up his ass for a while now. Tyrese thinks that the pile of mashed dumb in his head is a fountain of endless wisdom and enlightenment for women. Tyrese even wrote a relationship advice book with Rev Run and they hosted a talk show based on their book (the show got canceled). Some of Tyrese’s “greatest hits” include the time he said that Amber Rose dresses in a way that invites groping and that real men don’t take women with fake hair and silicone chichis seriously. Tyrese is back, and this time he’s telling women that God will send you what’s yours if you know your value (read: don’t pass that snatch around). Tyrese also thinks that sluts, skeezers, hoes and tramps (read: Dlisted’s main demographic, I love you) are lowering their value and partly because their coochies have a lot of miles. Don’t believe Tyrese about the coochie mileage thing? Check your coochie’s Kelley Blue Book price!
Fresh off from mistaking a TLC song for a Destiny’s Child song, Karlie Kloss has fucked up again and managed to outdo herself. Karlie went all Shirley MacLaine in My Geisha for a spread in American Vogue.
Gigi and Bella Hadid were both at a friend’s birthday party the other day, and since they have to put absolutely everything on social media, Bella posted a video on Instagram of Gigi mimicking the Asian eyes on a cookie. Bella deleted that video, but the damage was already done and many labeled Gigi as the new Miley Cyrus (and RiRi)!