Ever since that time Tiger Woods’ wife beat him like he stole something after discovering his Soul Train line of side pieces, I haven’t looked at him the same way. He’s gone from hot commodity to hot mess in a matter of years. But even his antics make other hot messes tilt their head to the side and say “Damn homie,” especially after his DUI back in May. Yesterday the toxicology report from that arrest was released and it confirms that yes, Tiger was purring and slurring off some damn good pills. But he failed to mention that there was weed in his system as well.
Aaron Carter got into some serious trouble on Saturday night in Georgia after he was arrested in Habersham County for DUI and possession of weed and drug accessories. We now have more news regarding Arron’s arrest. In true Carter fashion, it has become a giant ball of drama.
That mug shot of Tiger Woods looking like a half-comatose Homer Simpson after a major donut binge is going to follow him around for the rest of his days, and if someone ever opens up a Mug Shot Hall of Shame Museum, it’s going to get a prime spot there. But apparently, the sweet nectar isn’t what gave Tiger that “Mac and Me on red wine and Ambien” look about him. It was dolls!
And here I thought I was going to take the title of Trick Who Had The Most Pathetic Memorial Day Weekend by passing out in a plastic pool on the front lawn after getting drunk on vodka and Country Time lemonade by myself, but Tiger Woods has me beat. The Dramatic Fall of Tiger Woods just got a new chapter…
According to a police report obtained by People magazine, Hayley Hasselhoff – 24-year-old daughter of David Hasselhoff and star of Sharknado 4 – was arrested for DUI on Saturday. Hayley better be prepared for a whole lot of people shouting “NO THANKS” the next time she sings her daddy’s song Jump In My Car at karaoke.
Police found Hayley at 4am on a freeway off-ramp, passed out in the driver’s seat of her Mercedes with her foot on the brake. Police were able to wake Hayley and get her out safely while taking control of her vehicle. The police report says that Hayley stunk of booze and she failed a sobriety test. Hayley was taken to the hospital for an evaluation, and when she was clear to go, she was taken to a nearby jail to be booked.
I am a major technology skeptic, but I am 100% on board with those self-driven robot cars. Humans just can’t be trusted not to drive hammered. Hell, I’ll even take a car driven by another human. Just think how amazing it would be: you press a button on your phone, and a vehicle will magically pull up, uber-fast and give you a lift to your home. I know it sounds like a Jetsons-like fantasy, but I’m sure scientists are super close to figuring out the technology.
Because the only reason we’re even talking about Hayley Hasselhoff is who her dad is, here’s David Hasselhoff looking like an extra-crispy drumstick in Miami earlier today with his fiancée Hayley Roberts.
Amanda Bynes can finally put one of the messier parts of her incredibly messy and sad 2014 behind her. In 2014, Amanda was arrested for DUI and now TMZ says that she’s finally off probation. Amanda got arrested in September 2014 in Los Angeles for driving while high on Adderall, something she had a legal prescription for. Amanda was already on probation at the time. Her DUI didn’t end with time in a jail cell; instead, it ended with her checking into a mental health facility.
Almost two and a half years later, Amanda’s lawyer tells TMZ that her DUI case ended last Friday and she’s officially done being on probation.
She’s been laying pretty low these past couple of years. Sources tell TMZ she’s still attending classes at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, and is planning to debut a clothing line later this year. Of course, there’s also the small issue of Amanda Bynes fighting with someone on Twitter who claims to be a person named Ashley Banks (who sounds like Amanda Bynes and seems to have access to all her pictures). It sounds like she’s got a lot going on. Hopefully she doesn’t try to do any of those things while she’s driving. It might be smart of her to hire a driver, just to make sure she doesn’t have any more DUI whoopsies. I’m sure one of the dancing lobsters could use the extra work.