Category: Duchess Kate

Prince Andrew Had To Skip The Garter Day Ceremony Because His Family Wouldn’t Let Him Attend

June 13, 2022 / Posted by:

Unfortunately, Prince Andrew’s recent positive COVID-19 test result that caused him to miss THE QUEEN’s Jubilee Thanksgiving service did not result in a case of long covid. SkyNews reports that Andrew was well enough and eager to attend today’s Garter Day ceremony but was shut down by a “family decision” that he needs to keep his ass indoors. I know that’s right! The Queen didn’t make it through her entire Jubilee in one piece only to get taken out by a flying cabbage that had been lobbed at Andrew’s silly hat.

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Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Went To Church Today (While Queen Elizabeth Sat This One Out)

June 3, 2022 / Posted by:

It’s all Jubilee, all the time in the UK right now, in honor of 96-year-old Queen Elizabeth’s 70 years on the throne. Liz is 96, so it should come as no surprise to anyone that after the excitement of yesterday’s Trooping of the Colour event, she likely flopped into a chair and hollered, “Hooo wee, that’s enough excitement for me! Cancel my plans for tomorrow and book me a foot massage.” Because Queen Elizabeth was supposed to attend the National Service of Thanksgiving today at St. Paul’s Cathedral, but she bailed. Everyone else showed up, including Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. And of course, their appearance had drama enthusiasts giddy with joy because they reportedly sat across the aisle from their least favorite couple in the UK, Prince William and Duchess Kate.

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Prince Louis Stole The Show At THE QUEEN’s Jubilee Edition Of Trooping The Colour

June 2, 2022 / Posted by:

Since THE QUEEN decided that guests wishing to join her on the balcony for the Platinum Jubilee edition of Trooping the Colour needed to show two forms of ID and a pay-stub from The Firm, as expected, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were absent, and according to People, watched the festivities from The Major General’s Office where they “could be seen playfully entertaining various young royals” whose wrist muscles aren’t yet sufficiently developed to endure the rigors of sustained royal waving. However that was not a problem for the littlest royal Prince Louis whose enthusiastic wrist-flopping and face-pulling absolutely stole the show. The Royal Family hasn’t produced a ham this big since The Queen offered Peppa Pig a Damehood.

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Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Made An Appearance At Maundy Thursday Service (But Skipped A Visit With Prince William And Duchess Kate)

April 15, 2022 / Posted by:

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were in the UK this week because I guess they found a security team for this trip that could guard their bodies to their expectations upheld by the gold standard of celebrity security. We have already learned that upon their arrival across the pond, they took a visit with Harry’s grandmum Queen Elizabeth, a reunion that was a long time coming, and one that wasn’t completely unexpected, considering Liz’s reported ongoing issues. Harry and Meghan decided to stop and see Harry’s family on the way to the Invictus Games in The Netherlands. But they didn’t just get in some family face time. They did, just not with all of Harry’s family, (as noted above). According to reports, The Sussexes also did a little impromptu royal family volunteer work by replacing The Queen at an annual Easter service celebration.

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“The Crown” Is Looking To Cast A Young Kate Middleton, But Sources Say She Won’t Be Worried

April 14, 2022 / Posted by:

The BREAKING ROYAL NEWS is that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are staying in London a few days before they fly to the Netherlands for Saturday’s Invictus Games. TMZ is reporting that the couple had a meeting with THE QUEEN and Prince Charles, “in what’s clearly an attempt to smooth things over.” Oh no! Will this overshadow the very exciting news re: Duchess Kate Middleton and The Crown?!  No, nothing can top this news.

The fifth season of the Netflix show comes out this November. It will tackle the nineties. Presumably Princess Diana’s final years, THE QUEEN’S annus horribilis, and Fergie’s deal with Weight Watchers. Because the creatives behind The Crown work harder than Prince Andrew’s PR team, the sixth and final season of the show is already in pre-production. Last week Netflix put out a casting call for a “stunning” actress who can play a young Kate Middleton. Continue reading

Prince William Addresses The End Of The Messy Royal Caribbean Tour

March 27, 2022 / Posted by:

Well, the Royal Tour (a.k.a. Prince William and Kate Middleton Get Run Out Of The Caribbean Tour) is finally over! Prince William and Kate have been visiting various countries associated with the British Commonwealth over the last few weeks, including Belize, Jamaica, and the Bahamas. The royal couple expected to be greeted by happy local citizens but instead were met with people who aren’t going to take it anymore! Waves of protests and calls for reparations marred their tour. Just a normal day for the modern-day royal family!

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