I’m a big fan of The Crown, and so I can’t wait for season three to find out what The Queen really thought of 1970s Duchess Camilla when she saw her with Prince Charles. But until I get that, I can hold myself over with this. It’s a generation younger, but there’s just as many snooty feelings involved.
Buckingham Palace might be confused for the Tri-Delt house these days because Duchess Meghan, Duchess Kate, and THE QUEEN are bosom buddies who have all hit it off, and if this doesn’t turn into The Crowncrossing over into The Golden Girls in later seasons, Imma. be. pissed. Because Meghan has the world’s worst father, I guess that put the kibosh on QE2 and Kate inducting Meg into royal life with the usual round of hazing like blindfolding her, dropping her off at a Tesco north of London and making her take – gasp – the subway back home. That’d be cruel. Instead, they’re besties!
Happy Birthday to the only star that might one day eclipse THE QUEEN! It’s her great-grandson, Prince George, who could probably cut the royal line to rule the UK and pretty much the world in the next few decades due to his powerful style and potent sass. This fashion-forward, effervescent tyke is living his best life as he grabs the world by the face with his mischevious grin and royal splendor. (Note the hand in pocket. It’s becoming his signature pose.)
Dad and Mum (Prince William and Duchess Kate) have released the prince’s official 5th birthday photo and he’s the definition of adorbs. Few can work a Peter Pan collar with such confidence. This here’s one of em’.
When fifth-in-line to the crown Prince Louis arrived to St. James’s Palace for his Christening last week, his grand entrance wasn’t so grand. I was expecting some razzle-dazzle, like a Kensington Palace-branded t-shirt gun fired by Unky Harry. But all we got was Duchess Kate carrying a bundle of curtains with a sleeping Prince Louis inside, then later, a partially-awake Prince Louis. Obviously Prince Louis was saving the charm for the official portraits released after the show.
The world nodded approvingly when the Royal Ladies Squad showed up at the Wimbledon Championships on Saturday sans their balls and chains and the rest of that stuffy family, according to People. Duchesses Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle flashed peace signs and made goofy faces as they took silly selfies in the Royal Box, while THE QUEEN drunkenly demanded to know when “those fit blokes in the little arse-huggin’ shorts” were going to play. Ok, that didn’t happen. Kate and Meghan behaved like ladies and THE QUEEN couldn’t attend. She was too busy recovering from having to look at the one arse in the world that NO ONE wants to behold.
Most of them are staring up at the sky, because above them is a plane carrying a banner that reads: Sorry, Meghan, But Kate’s Dress Sold Out Before Yours. That explains why Duchess Kate is lighting up in the face like, “Check that, bitch, I’ve still got it!”
THE QUEEN wasn’t at her great-grandson Prince Louis’ hazing Christian ceremony yesterday, because well, she’s 92 years old and is tired of sleeping with her eyes open at yet another boring ass baptism. (Even the star of the show, Prince Louis, didn’t stay awake for that bore fest.) But THE QUEEN was back out there today at the 100th birthday celebrations of the Royal Air Force. THE QUEEN and the other ones (I cropped Princess Michael of Kunt out of that top pic because she’s Princess Michael of Kunt) took to the balcony of Buckingham Palace today to watch the RAF centenary, which she didn’t strain her royal neck to see, because she’ll watch it later on YouTube while getting drunk on sloe gin fizzes with her man.