In 2016, Dr. Dre decided to make a semi-autobiographical TV series called Vital Signs, proving that if anything, he’s definitely making a life-long commitment to the whole “doctor” thing. Vital Signs was snatched up by Apple, but CEO Tim Cook has discovered that the show has too much sex, drugs, and violence for his gentle eyes, and he’s no longer interested.
Forbes released their list of the five richest artists in hip-hop. Imaginatively titled “The Forbes Five,” we’re told that Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and Brian Austin Green have all the money in (and pretty much out of) hip-hop. I kid. It’s Dre, Diddy, Drake and Marshall Mathers. But the guy with ALL the riches in the world (meaning he’s married to universal majestrix messiah empress Beyonce) is Jay-Z. Mr. Shawn Carter has ALL the money. You could probably tell by his bar tab.
Terrifying jailbird Suge Knight looks to be trying to revive his October 2016 claim that his former Death Row Records colleague Dr. Dre paid to have his large, seemingly bullet-resistant ass killed. Suge is currently incarcerated while awaiting a murder trial (as well as trying to avoid being sucked to Hell by his cell’s haunted toilet).
In a new court filing obtained by TMZ, the bullet-ridden Knight (he was shot 7 times and survived!!!) claims that Dre wrote a check for $20,000 to one Dwayne Johnson to rub him out. That would be a really, really, really big eraser. You would think The Rock had enough scratch from all the pro wrestling and car chase movies to not have to moonlight as a hired killer.
Well, when you’re locked up on murder charges and have gotten bored from re-enacting scenes from The Exorcist with your haunted toilet, one way to pass the time is to go down to the jailhouse library and read Frivolous Ass Lawsuits For Dummies. Suge Knight has already sued Chris Brown and the club 1 Oak for not providing enough security at the 2014 VMAs party where his ass was shot up seven times. TMZ says that shooting has brought out another lawsuit from Suge. Suge has thrown a lawsuit at Dr. Dre for allegedly putting a hit on him.
Because of the release of the N.W.A. biopic Straight Outta Compton, Dr. Dre’s history of beating up women made its way out from under the rug and people started talking about it again. Dee Barnes, a hip-hop journalist, wrote a piece for Gawker about how Dr. Dre beat her up at a party in 1991 because he didn’t like a piece about N.W.A. that aired on Pump It Up!, a show she hosted at the time. Dee Barnes also says that Dre got her blacklisted from the industry. Dre was charged with beating Dee and pleaded “no contest.” He got 24 months of probation and 240 hours of community service. The scene was included in one of Straight Outta Compton’s earlier drafts, but it was eventually cut out. Singer Michel’e, the mother of Dr. Dre’s son, has also spoken out about how he fucked-up her ribs and sent her to the hospital at least once.
In the past, Dr. Dre brushed off the allegations. But now that he’s a billionaire and a consultant at Apple, he’s probably thinking to himself, “Oh shit, I better have my PR team put something out before this really fucks with my business and movie.”
Dr. Dre gave a statement to The New York Times today where he apologized to the women and blamed booze and youth:
“Twenty-five years ago I was a young man drinking too much and in over my head with no real structure in my life. However, none of this is an excuse for what I did. I’ve been married for 19 years and every day I’m working to be a better man for my family, seeking guidance along the way. I’m doing everything I can so I never resemble that man again.
I apologize to the women I’ve hurt. I deeply regret what I did and know that it has forever impacted all of our lives.”
Apple also released a statement for some reason:
“Dre has apologized for the mistakes he’s made in the past and he’s said that he’s not the same person that he was 25 years ago. We believe his sincerity and after working with him for a year and a half, we have every reason to believe that he has changed.”
I guess Apple is Dr. Dre’s mom now. It’s like they knocked on all of our doors and as Dr. Dre stood behind them with his head held down, they told us, “Dre is totally changed and don’t worry, we already punished him by putting him on restriction for like two weeks and we only let him use the car to drive to school and back. Tell ’em your sorry, Dre!”