The last time we checked in on Jameela Jamil, she was joking about her poop shake/tea runoff in a fake Instagram influencer video. She has now taken a break from calling out flat tummy tea sellers and is going after magazines Photoshopping women.
Meghan Trainor Pulled Her Latest Music Video Because She Thinks They Went Overboard On The Photoshop
I have some bad news for those of you who are looking at this screen shot of a Wynonna-looking Meghan Trainor standing with dancers that look like they were borrowed from a low-budget fan edit of Aqua’s “Lollipop (Candyman)” and are wishing that you could watch an entire music video of it. The music video that goes with that screen grab has been deleted forever by Meghan Trainor herself. Well, at least that specific version of that video.
Photoshopping the faces and bodies of famous people is a tricky business. Some famous people, like Lena Dunham or Kate Winslet, will slap a bitch for retouching their pictures too much. Others, like Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, or the Kween of the Liquefy Tool herself Kim Kardashian, won’t sign off on a Photoshop job until the person in the picture looks like the Total Drama Island version of themselves. Last week, Kerry Washington sort-of came out as a member of Team No Photoshop when she called out a picture of herself on the cover of Adweek looking not a whole lot like Kerry Washington. And now Kerry wants to clarify her own Photoshop beliefs.
UsWeekly says Kerry spoke about her Adweek Photoshop incident at Oprah Winfrey’s SuperSoul Session conference on Saturday. According to Kerry, she’s not here for Photoshop work that makes people wonder who they’re looking at. However, she is still here for the kind that makes your face look like you haven’t been binge watching old episodes of Blind Date on YouTube till 3am.
“I want to be really honest. Photoshopping is not the devil. It’s not all horrible. I’ve had days where I show up to the cover of a magazine and I’m in a more hormonal moment of the month and I may have a big red dot [on my forehead]. When I had comments last week about a cover that I felt uncomfortable with, the response was like, ‘You don’t need anything’ and I was like, ‘Honey, I need something sometimes.’ And a wrinkle in the dress, you want to smooth that out — that’s great.”
She adds that the Adweek thing was a whole lot different than just smoothing out some wrinkles, because she “didn’t recognize” the person on the cover. Okay, but to be fair, it might not have been the photo editor’s fault. There were so many busy patterns going on in that picture that they probably got hypnotized and fell into a catatonic state. But they still had a deadline to meet, so their brain went into famous person picture retouching autopilot. “Is it a famous person? Check. Will I be applying every filter and blur tool known to Adobe? Check. Do we know who it is anymore? Nope! But I’m sure they’ll let us know on social media when the issue comes out.“
There are many famous types who think that throwing a picture of themselves through eighteen hundred layers of Photoshop makes themselves look 1000x better (see: every time Lindsay Lohan busts out the liquefy tool), but Kate Winslet isn’t one of them. Way way back in 2003, Kate called out GQ for jacking her body so much she looked like that time you ripped off Skipper’s head and put it on Barbie’s body. Clearly, Kate still has a page in her burn book dedicated to Adobe and their bottom bitch Photoshop.
During the ELLE Women in Hollywood event that was held earlier this week, Kate told E! News that she made L’Oreal promise they wouldn’t airbrush the Kate out of her face before she signed her contract (Kate is currently cashing checks for Lancôme, which is owned by L’Oreal) because Kate Winslet wants to look like Kate Winslet when she’s hawking $103 night cream. She also side-eyed magazines who are still trying to pass off the whole wrinkle-free 50-year-old thing.
“I can only ever speak for myself and I can only ever do things that are important to me and it’s a hope that other people might follow suit but it does feel important to me because I do think we have a responsibility to the younger generation of women.”
“I think they do look to magazines, I think they do look to women who have been successful in their chosen careers and they want people to look up to, and I would always want to be telling the truth about who I am to that generation because they’ve got to have strong leaders. We’re all responsible for raising strong young women, so these are things that are important to me.”
Beyonce/Kim Kardashian/Madonna/(insert the name of any famous person who sleeps with a stuffed plushie of the Photoshop spot healing brush tool) just forwarded Kate’s quote to their photo perfection team with the message: “Clear some space on the server. I want to be ready for when all those magazines decide to dump their copies of Photoshop and we can buy them in bulk.”
Here’s more of Kate and her SANS PHOTOSHOPPE face in a gold and white dress (I deserve all the eye rolls I got for that one) at the ELLE Women in Hollywood event last week.
In 2004, Keira Knightley became the anti-Mimi when she publicly spit on the flat chest haters who made the decision to use the silicone Photoshop tool to plump up her small titty situation on the poster for King Arthur. KK complained that if they insisted on inflating her chichis, they could’ve at least made them perky and not droopy. Well, ten years later and KK is still protesting and this time she’s enlisted her nipples to join the fight.
Photographer Patrick Demarchelier shot KK for (link semi-NSFW) Interview Magazine and I guess she was asked if she’d be into doing any topless shots. KK agreed to show her nips as long as Interview promised not to pass the pictures through the Photoshop machine. KK tells The London Times (via Time) that she’s sick of getting Photoshopped and wants to let everyone know that there’s nothing wrong with sunny side up egg chichis.
“I’ve had my body manipulated so many different times for so many different reasons, whether it’s paparazzi photographers or for film posters. That [shoot] was one of the ones where I said: ‘OK, I’m fine doing the topless shot so long as you don’t make them any bigger or retouch.’ Because it does feel important to say it really doesn’t matter what shape you are.
I think women’s bodies are a battleground and photography is partly to blame. Our society is so photographic now, it becomes more difficult to see all of those different varieties of shape.”
That’s your cue to put in your earplugs unless you really want to hear Mimi, the Kartrashians, Beyonce, Madge and the other disciples of the Adobe philosophy scream, “SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH,” at once.
Never mind that KK protested against Photoshop by posing for a picture that was eventually Photoshopped, she might be on to something. Celebrities who are sick of getting Photoshopped (insert *crickets* sound here) should fight the fight against Photoshop by getting half naked. Lady celebs should bring their titties out and dude celebs can show their support by bringing their peens out. Peens Against Photoshop can be the new Ice Bucket Challenge. Fuck Photoshop! Bring on the peens!
And since some workplaces are strange and are against lady nipples on monitors, KK’s uncensored pic is here.