Category: Donnie Wahlberg

New Edition And New Kids On The Block Faced Off In A Battle Of The Boy Bands At Last Night’s American Music Awards

November 22, 2021 / Posted by:

The 2021 American Music Awards happened last night and was hosted by Cardi B, who I’m amazed didn’t reveal another pregnancy because she loves to do that. But she did crack jokes and managed to screech “My underarms itch!” in her opening monologue, so that happened. But more importantly, there was music at the American Music Awards (shocking) and we were treated to a plethora of acts. Including a reunion-slash-battle between two classic boy bands, New Kids On The Block and New Edition.

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Somebody Call An Exorcist, Jenny McCarthy Thinks She’s Being Haunted!

July 19, 2018 / Posted by:

Actually, I should change that. Usually an exorcist is the person you call when a loved one is haunted by the supernatural and is talking all kinds of nonsense. Jenny McCarthy, on the other hand, has been known to say some crazy things without the aid of a demon possession. This situation might actually just call for regular, old Ghostbusters.

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Gisele Bundchen Says She Didn’t Mean What She Said About Letting The Eagles Win

February 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Tom Brady fans probably came up with a million ways to convince themselves that last Sunday’s Super Bowl loss wasn’t Tom Brady’s fault. Tom accidentally ingested a strawberry and it made him temporarily forget what a football was, maybe. According to USA Today, Gisele’s reported explanation to her kids was that the Eagles hadn’t won “in a million years” and that sometimes you have to “let someone else win” because “sharing is caring.” Gisele says she didn’t mean it like that.

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Mariah Carey Is Still “Mortified” About The Greatest Performance Of 2016

January 4, 2017 / Posted by:

Pictured: Mariah Carey being mortified in Aspen.

It’s been a little over three days since 2016 ended with a BANG, which was the sound that was made when Mimi threw her microphone at a tech person’s head backstage after doing a reboot of Britney Spears’ 2007 VMAs performance. We’re still talking about it, because it’s either talk about that or think about Doomsday on January 20th.

After Mimi made 2016 a teensy bit better with her disastrous performance, she shrugged on Twitter by saying, “Shit happens.” Mimi had more words to say later and told Entertainment Weekly that if Dick Clark was still alive, he’d be on her side. But Our Lady of Measles, Jenny McCarthy, thinks that if Dick Clark was still alive, he’d be on their side.

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Jenny McCarthy And Donnie Wahlberg Claim The View Wanted To Take Her Back

March 31, 2015 / Posted by:

Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg, seen above looking like an auto show girl-turned-aspiring pop singer and her manager/boyfriend/Hard Rock Cafe enthuriast, recently made an appearance on Howard Stern’s SiriuXM radio show, and of course they started talking about Jenny’s old job at The View. Since the most contagious virus you can catch from having unprotected sex with Jenny McCarthy is bullshititis, Donnie burped up some “Sure, Jan” story about how shortly after Rosie O’Donnell filed her walking papers, The View called up his wife and begged her to come back.

“She’s very gracious about The View, and I will say, I told her the day that she left, I said, ‘They’re gonna ask you back within six months.’ And she won’t say it, but they did. Not officially, but they did.”

That’s when Jenny elaborated on Donnie’s story by adding:

“One of the producers called and said, would I ever consider it? And I said, ‘No, thank you’ because I couldn’t be me! You know — you called it from the start. I couldn’t be myself.”

Remember from 3 seconds ago that thing Donnie said about Jenny being very gracious about The View? I guess Donnie’s definition of gracious includes the words “acting like a shady bitch“, because when asked about the future of The View, Jenny ripped the following stinky poo whisper in their direction:

“They might try one more year and then I think the Titanic might go down.”

I guess that would make Jenny one of the rats who jumped off the ship? No! That doesn’t make any sense – the rats chose to jump, whereas Jenny McCarthy was pretty much pushed. It’s also highly offensive to rats. I’m sorry Remy!

Jenny McCarthy And Donnie Wahlberg Got A Reality Show, Because Of Course They Did

November 11, 2014 / Posted by:

After being married for all of two months, Us Weekly says that vaccination expert and former shoe model Jenny McCarthy and the poor soul legally bound to her in desperate attention-seeking fuckery Donnie Wahlberg (seen above in a rare moment where they’re not completely slobbering all over each other) have decided to pimp out their relationship for reality television. I know, I’m shocked that it took this long too!

America’s Slutty Fart and Mahky Mahk’s brother will star in a 10-episode “docu-series” called Donnie Loves Jenny that will air sometime in early 2015 on A&E. Jenny and Donnie, who are co-producers of Donnie Loves Jenny, said this about Jenny’s latest cling to relevancy:

“Not only have we found a new home together, we have found the perfect place for our exciting new projects to live with A&E Network. We’re so excited about this deal and look forward to a long and successful relationship creating entertaining and provocative unscripted programming with our partners at A&E. Our feeling is, who better to make our first show for the network about than about us? We love working together and with our crazy schedules this gives us the chance to both work and play together.”

Donnie and Jenny have truly hit the A&E jackpot, because Donnie Loves Jenny will spawn at least a couple future spin-offs! First comes Donnie Loves Jenny, then Donnie’s Starting To Get Real Tired Of Jenny’s Shit, followed by Donnie Realizes He’s Made A Terrible Mistake, which leads us to Donnie Hates Jenny, Marky Said This Would Happen, and Donnie Files For Divorce. Then in 2016, Jenny can campaign for her own Jenny-centric series: Jenny Loves Attention.

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