Somewhere in between telling his spying microwave that he’s got its number (hussy) and allegedly dropping a manila envelope marked, “Trump’s Tax Forms! Not From Trump!”, into a reporter’s mailbox, Donald Trump found time to shit on Snoop Dogg over a music video. Because, you know, that’s a great way for the President of the United States to spend his time.
It was devastating news this week when Alec Baldwin revealed that he’s put an expiration date on his masterful mockery of… that guy. But, but, he’s so good at it. He captures almost every odious component of…that guy’s…character! They better get someone just as good to carry on. Someone who’s played the part before. Someone that annoys Twitler just as much as Alec does. Hmm.
Those who thought that POTUS’ oddly restrained (for him) speech before Congress this week signaled a new era of keeping his priorities presidential and his behavior semi-rational were wrong. President Donald Trump kicked off his weekend by “u up?“-ing the beautiful creature that holds his tiny heart – the Twitter bird! This pesky “my administration might have a branch location in the Kremlin” scandal has him wrought! But not so wrought that he can’t focus on the real issues!
Since The Mighty O has a legion of devoted followers and she has the power to bring down industries, she’s been asked about running for President of the United States and she’s always waved that thought away and said, “not in this lifetime.” But Oprah is now looking at the Oval Office like, “hmmm,” since the current POTUS has less government experience than a 4th grade student council secretary.
Sure, blame it on the booze! Entirety of television owner Ryan Murphy admitted he was just a little bit tipsy when he went on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last week and told that annoying but kind of hot (don’t judge) Andy Cohen that the next season of American Horror Story would be about the 2016 election. Ryan even hinted that Donald Trump might be a character.
Despite that being a valid topic for a show about abject horror, Ryan nows says that he was shittoed and exaggerating.
About a month before the election happened, The Washington Post mysteriously got their hands on a copy of a video of Donald Trump bragging about pussy grabbin’ with Billy Bush on a bus during the filming of an Access Hollywood segment. At the time, it seemed like someone wanted to make Trump look even sleazier than he already does. But Page Six says that the intention was to also make Billy Bush look bad.