About a month before the election happened, The Washington Post mysteriously got their hands on a copy of a video of Donald Trump bragging about pussy grabbin’ with Billy Bush on a bus during the filming of an Access Hollywood segment. At the time, it seemed like someone wanted to make Trump look even sleazier than he already does. But Page Six says that the intention was to also make Billy Bush look bad.
After Donald Trump pretty much said, “Have fun pissing in the bushes, kids!”, to trans students when he revoked federal guidelines that allowed kids to choose the bathroom at school that matches their gender identity, many famous types spoke out including Jackie Evancho and Laverne Cox. Caitlyn Jenner stayed quiet, at first, and I didn’t think she’d say anything…until E! paid her the right amount to give her thoughts in a special. But yesterday, Caitlyn released a video response to Trump and I think my eyeballs are skinnier from the cardio (read: rolling) they did while I listened to her.
As everyone knows, America’s Got Talent season 5 runner-up Jackie Evancho yodeled out the national anthem at Donald Trump’s inauguration last month. That move made many people yodel out a, “Why?????“, because Jackie’s older sister Juliet Evancho is transgender, and Vice-President Mike Pence hasn’t exactly blown an air kiss of support at the LGBTQ community. 16-year-old Jackie said at the time that she was doing it to unite the people, or whatever. But a month later, Jackie isn’t so united with Trump and is also yodeling out a, “Why?????“, over his decision to revoke a federal protection for trans students. Jackie, girl, I hope you cashed that inauguration performance check, because Trump’s team may cancel it now that you’ve shown insolence against our overlord!
Last week, President Donald Trump was reportedly traumatized by Melissa McCarthy’s impression of his
propaganda minister press secretary Sean Spicer on Saturday Night Live. You could tell, just by the fact that he didn’t launch into a Twitler tirade about it. The short-fingered silence was deafening!
One of Donald Trump’s early Sunday morning rituals has been pounding his roasted baby carrot fingers on his phone as he rages against Alec Baldwin and his favorite show Saturday Night Live for making fun of him again. But strangely enough, Trump didn’t fart out a single tweet about Melissa McCarthy’s Emmy-Oscar-Nobel Peace Price-worthy take on Sean Spicer, which was very “Matt Foley on testosterone-laced meth” to me. Even Sean Spicer said words about it and told reporters that he thought Melissa’s drag king impersonation of him was “cute.” But a “top Trump donor” told Politico that Melissa’s Spicer act achieved the impossible: it shut Trump up.
It looks like Kanye West will never be invited to a slumber party at the White House, where he and his one-time BFF, Donald Trump, would crank call the Australian PM, toilet paper Nancy Pelosi’s office, take selfies with the nuclear button and color each other’s hair using the imported piss of a Russian hooker. Because Kanye is done with Trump.