Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.
Answer: Diddy gives a fuck, like a lot of fucks.
red beige and blue carpet posing portion of last night’s Met Gala, Diddy worked the cameras with his on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-again piece Cassie, and at one point he lounged on the steps like a man casually lounging on a display at Forever 21 while his girlfriend gets in a long line to try on a pair of jeans. That little smooth move brought out a dozen “Diddy Don’t Give A Fuck” headlines. Au contraire, bitch. Diddy does give a fuck and that shameless spotlight-shifting whore knew what he was doing.
Cassie stood there in a field of humongous ass sea urchins, working for those camera clicks, as Diddly easily got the cameras to move his way by casually strolling to the stairs for a little lounging time. Cassie’s dress is covered with giant plastic caterpillars (or are those giant Groucho Marx brows?) and Diddy gets all the attention by simply lounging like an evil vampire lounging on a velvet settee while eyeing his prey from across the room. Diddy wants us to think he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about her,” but we all know he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about moi.”
With that being said, I’d probably do the same thing, because standing is hard. And also, that dramatic lying down pose really does show off Diddy’s “Steven Seagal spending a casual afternoon at home” outfit.
And now we end our never-ending Mess Gala 2017 coverage with several dollops of hotness provided by the dudes of the night including ASkars, Riz Ahmed, Rami Malek and Luke Evans.
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty
I realize that during the Grammys earlier this year is that Beyonce, the queen of our time, placed a spell on all of us in the middle of her Offering to the Goddess performance when she gazed into the camera like “Love Me..Join Tidal… I COMMAND YOU!!” But that shit don’t work on me, because I don’t drink the damn lemonade. I prefer my ice to caress whiskey and honestly, I don’t even need the ice. So go hypnotize someone else, sistah!
Still, the spell worked on a few people (like Adele, who damn near somersaulted on stage to present Queen Bey with her Grammy on a bended knee). And director Jon Favreau is also ready to hand over stacks of cash for her to voice Nala in an upcoming live-action remake of The Lion King.
Mufasa lives! Or, rather, Mufasa will live AGAIN, until that catty queen Scar engineers his tragic death in a live-action film, The Lion King.
Director Jon Favreau, fresh off his live-action The Jungle Book, is giving Simba, Pumbaa, Rafiki, and those angel-dusted hyenas the similar treatment (there are no original ideas in Hollywood). Jon revealed the voice-casting of Donald Glover as Simba, and Mufasa himself, James Earl Jones, via Twitter this week.
“Oh, it’s no secret that he’s a daddy” said tons of horny people who get hot for Troy from Community. We’re actually talking about another kind of daddy. According to UsWeekly, Donald Glover is officially a member of the secret babies club. Congratulations Donald, I’m sure your welcome basket isn’t in the mail (it’s a secret, after all).
UsWeekly doesn’t have any information other than 33-year-old Donald and his girlfriend became parents earlier this year. No one knows his girlfriend’s name. The only evidence anyone has are pictures of Donald walking out of a grocery store in Hawaii with a very pregnant looking woman back in January:
— E! News (@enews) October 11, 2016
In May Donald was seen walking around NYC with the same woman who was pushing a stroller.
It’s October, which means that if the mother of Donald’s baby gave birth around January, he’s been a daddy for about 8 or 9 months. Pete Campbell and Rory Gilmore just removed their sash and scepter presented to them by Shhhhhies’s Choice secret baby coalition and gave them to Donald.