Early Sunday morning, Busy Phillips (Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks) got into an Uber with her husband Marc Silverstein. That’s not the news here. Although it is a little surprising to learn that someone with Cougar Town money doesn’t get chauffeured around town in a stretch limo in a series of underground tunnels built specifically for the rich and famous. Anyway, Busy’s Uber ride was dramatic for her and she relayed the whole situation in a series of Instagram stories.
Here I was thinking that Shia LaBeouf’s days of acting a mess in public were behind him and he was channeling his anger into his ART, but he’s still out there, ruining everyone’s night with his antics. TMZ has video of Shia blowing up at the staff of a Jerry’s Deli in L.A. after a witness says he was “pounding back beers” for 3 hours. That ugly scene would’ve been a beautiful scene of peace, love and unity if only Shia pounded back Pepsis for 3 hours.
Empire’s spring premiere episode aired last night, and earlier in the day, TMZ coincidentally burped up a story about how guest star Nia Long and Taraji P. Henson got along about as well as Terrence Howard gets along with an asshole that hasn’t been freshly touched by a baby wipe. Today, TMZ has burped up more details about Nia’s alleged rampage on the Empire set, and E! News has also joined in on the foolery with info of their own. This is giving me shades of Dynasty gossip, but I’m not sure who’s the Krystle and who’s the Alexis? What am I saying? Taraji is the Alexis, Dominique, Sable and Krystle. Nia is one of the party extras.
Yes, many people still pay good money to see George Lopez do comedy in 2017, but one of those people probably asked for her money back after he showered her with approximately 346 fucks. If you’ve ever wanted to see George Lopez explode into an angry geyser of fucks, simply flip him off. That’s all it takes!
“Don’t look to your left too fast or your that camera lens will be covered with fillers and tissue after your face explodes from seeing that much beauty up close.” – Jocelyn Wildenstein’s man to himself in that picture.
Last week, the 100% plastic feline jewel was arrested and slapped with feliney assault charges for allegedly going pussy gone rabid on her longtime man Lloyd Klein by clawing him, cutting him up with scissors and throwing a metal tray at him in her Trump World Tower apartment in Manhattan. Jocelyn was released back into the wild without having to post bail and went back to her apartment. But the cat scratch drama was hardly over.
It’s been way too long since I’ve been lucky enough to write about a citizen’s arrest. But the citizen’s arrest dry spell is over thanks to actor, comedian and noted mess T.J. Miller allegedly busting a slappity slap show on an Uber driver’s face after fighting about Donald Trump. But before we get to the end-of-the-week fuckery provided by the dude from Silicon Valley, I’ll explain why in that picture, he looks like a 12-year-old you after you pierced your ear in the bathroom using only ice, a safety pin and a prayer. And yes, it’s because of Trump.