While it feels like some celebrities will still be fighting out their divorce battle well into the next decade, others seem to want to get it done fast and quick so they can move on in whatever way they so choose. Chris Pratt and Anna Faris are one such couple. TMZ is reporting that one year and three months after calling it quits, their divorce is in the can and they’ve wrapped up all the details.
Jenna Dewan has dropped the ax on the chicken head that was her marriage to Channing Tatum after a six month separation that was by all means a very “conscious uncoupling” scenario (I hate myself for keeping that phrase in the vernacular. Forgive me). Divorce papers have been filed by Jenna’s lawyer with good old fashioned “irreconcilable differences” as the nondescript reason that their nine year marriage has landed in Uncle Eddie’s shitter. Channing responded to the filing shortly after.
During the first season of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation that aired earlier this year, The Situation proposed to his girlfriend Lauren Pesce (sadly, she did not replace “yes” with “it would be my honor to join you in this life-long situation” before fist pumping her ring in the air). Little did we know that among the clouds of romance and self-tanner spray spray, that while one marriage was beginning, another Jersey Shore marriage had ended.
After what feels like a month of Sundays, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have finally reached a settlement in their multi-million dollar divorce. This is great news for them and even better news for us. This doesn’t mean that the divorce is OVER over, but this should be the next to last post we have to read about this divorce until the final nail is hammered into the coffin of BenJen II (as opposed to l’original BenJen: Ben and Jennifer Lopez . Pour a little out for the cinematic masterpiece that is “Gigli“, my friends. Never forget!).
If Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner don’t get to steppin’, they’re going to end up being married for another few years past their expiration date as a couple. A judge already told them that if they can’t settle up PDQ, the court may call off their divorce and they will have to refile. Leading up to today, Jen’s been dragging her heels and taking her sweet time, while Ben has been tapping his toes in anticipation. And, according to US Weekly, Ben’s sobriety (or lack thereof) is the reason Jen won’t pull the trigger. Thanks to her, we may have to keep hearing about this infernal divorce for years to come.
UsWeekly says that 55-year-old Nia Vardalos and 52-year-old Ian Gomez (aka Andy from Cougar Town) are divorcing after being married for a quarter of a century. According to documents, they went with the usual reason – irreconcilable differences. They were married in September 1993. Oh my god, an early-90s wedding; I can practically smell the Payless dyeable satin pumps.
Nia and Ian share an 11-year-old daughter named Ilaria, who they’ve asked for joint legal custody of.
Both Nia and Ian appeared together in seven films, including My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1 & 2, Connie and Carla, and I Hate Valentine’s Day. They also co-hosted the first two seasons of The Great American Baking Show. Neither Nia nor Ian have confirmed the news themselves, but thanks to a recent tweet Nia made, I’ve already started to imagine what her newly single life is life.
Antoni, I’m inviting myself and we’re making poutine gyros. https://t.co/54cFcmwK3I
— Nia Vardalos (@NiaVardalos) June 26, 2018
Random meats covered in cheese and salty gravy, surrounded by Antoni’s always-present redundant dips. That sounds exactly like what “Fuck it, I’m getting divorced” food should be.