If John Travolta and Kelly Preston are the Kate and William of Scientology’s royal couples, then Beck and Marissa Ribisi are the Meghan and Harry. But as Prince Charles proved (or Tom Cruise in this scenario), there’s no actual law prohibiting a royal divorce. Lifelong Scientologists Beck and Marissa (both were raised by believers), are proving once and for all, that all is possible Under His Eye (L.Ron’s eye in this scenario). Quick, somebody needs to run tell Jenna Elfman that just because you’re a dyed in the wool Scientologist, it doesn’t mean you have to spend an earth eternity living in miserable marriage in the name of Going Clear.
Last year Tisha Campbell-Martin and her husband Duane Martin announced they were getting a divorce around the same time a rumored Martin reboot was on the horizon. The damn reboot never happened, which you would think is the saddest part of this story, but unfortunately it gets worse. According to Tisha, one of the reasons she’s getting a divorce is because Duane can’t keep his hands to himself. In fact, he’s been physically and verbally abusing her since they got married in 1996.
In news that nobody should be surprised to hear: Cardi B and Offset haven broken up after about 15 months of marriage. That’s about 14 months and 29 days longer than anyone thought they’d last, so congrats to them for beating the odds. Cardi B confirmed the news in an Instagram post saying that her and Offset were done, ending a year off blissful not-technically-open-but-he-passed-the-peen-anyway marriage.
Tyrese Gibson is coming for his money, honey! Tyrese has been having drama with his child’s mother in terms of who takes care of their kid financially and physically. His ex, Norma Gibson, even accused him of some abusive behavior during their battle which he said ruined his career. Well, now that Tyrese has joint custody of his eleven-year-old daughter, Shayla, he’s taking more of a hands-on interest. Namely, he’s interested in who’s hands is on his money!
The Blast is reporting that even though Alicia Silverstone’s show American Woman kicked the bucket, she has to fork up the cash in her divorce from musician Chris Jarecki. The two were together for 20 years before they broke up and Alicia eventually filed for divorce. As part of their settlement, Alicia must hand Chris a check for $12,000 each month. The spousal support will last until 2024. The papers which The Blast got their hands on don’t specify any child support payments, but the couple does still share joint custody of their 7-year-old immortal vegan child, Bear.
But! There are some stipulations in the payments. If Chris meets a new chick and the two share “housing costs for more than 5-months” Alicia will see a reduction in her payment amounts. What kind of arbitrary divorce nonsense?! If I was Chris I would simply not pay for anything to keep my checks intact! Or not date a trick! Like, who would trade an easy $144,000 a year just to move in with someone? Not I!
Also in their divorce settlement is an agreement that both parents restrain “from making disparaging remarks about the other parent in the presence of the minor child.” Well, if Alicia or Chris decide to break that rule and talk shit about one another in front of their child, their child might not be able to hear it over the sound of his measles-stricken little classmates sneezing and crying.
Welp, can’t wait to see how the parenting rules change post-divorce. Stay tuned for Chris to have a serious talk with Bear: “Son, at my house you have to chew your own food. When you’re with your mom, she can bird feed you all she wants, but my house, my rules!”
While it feels like some celebrities will still be fighting out their divorce battle well into the next decade, others seem to want to get it done fast and quick so they can move on in whatever way they so choose. Chris Pratt and Anna Faris are one such couple. TMZ is reporting that one year and three months after calling it quits, their divorce is in the can and they’ve wrapped up all the details.