UsWeekly says that 55-year-old Nia Vardalos and 52-year-old Ian Gomez (aka Andy from Cougar Town) are divorcing after being married for a quarter of a century. According to documents, they went with the usual reason – irreconcilable differences. They were married in September 1993. Oh my god, an early-90s wedding; I can practically smell the Payless dyeable satin pumps.
Nia and Ian share an 11-year-old daughter named Ilaria, who they’ve asked for joint legal custody of.
Both Nia and Ian appeared together in seven films, including My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1 & 2, Connie and Carla, and I Hate Valentine’s Day. They also co-hosted the first two seasons of The Great American Baking Show. Neither Nia nor Ian have confirmed the news themselves, but thanks to a recent tweet Nia made, I’ve already started to imagine what her newly single life is life.
Antoni, I’m inviting myself and we’re making poutine gyros. https://t.co/54cFcmwK3I
— Nia Vardalos (@NiaVardalos) June 26, 2018
Random meats covered in cheese and salty gravy, surrounded by Antoni’s always-present redundant dips. That sounds exactly like what “Fuck it, I’m getting divorced” food should be.
After just shy of two years, TMZ says that Mary J. Blige is officially divorced from her former manager and husband of 13 years Kendu Isaacs. Their divorce fight was long and grimy. Kendu reportedly wanted $130,000 a month in spousal support, then dropped it to $65,000 a month, while Mary was accusing him of dropping almost half a million on a mistress and claiming to be too broke to cut him such big checks. In March it was reported that they’d finally come to a settlement.
It was a real cliffhanger for fans of Mary’s bank account, and it still is. TMZ says that a judge signed off on Mary’s divorce yesterday. Even though they came to a settlement agreement already, the details still needed to be worked out.
Mary and Kendu were married for 13 years, but didn’t have any kids, so there’s no custody battle.
I don’t think you have to be a descendant of Poirot to figure out who got what. The biggest clue will be Kendu himself. Kendu claimed he needed $130,000 a month in spousal support, then $65,000, to support his luxe lifestyle. A man who was willing to settle for a measly $780,000 a year will show it in his face. Like when you pull up next to Kendu at a red light and see his depressed, tear-stained staring back at you from the backseat of a chauffeured Hyndai Sonata.
I’ll admit I love a good ol’ fashioned divorce merry-go-round where a couple keeps splitting up and hurling divorce papers only to reconcile a few months later. But Naya Rivera and Ryan Dorsey’s mess was a little less enjoyable, because in between filing divorce papers two different times, Ryan had accused a drunk Naya of getting violent and abusive on him over Thanksgiving. Thankfully for themselves, and I’m sure the sanity of those around them, they’re officially divorced.
Halle Berry and her third husband Olivier Martinez were married for two years, and they’ve been dragging out their divorce longer than that. They could technically start celebrating the anniversary of when they first filed divorce papers. Halle and Olivier may love keeping it messy, but the court system that has to deal with them clearly doesn’t.
This will most likely be the last time I ever post a picture of Frances Bean Cobain and Isaiah Silva together, and I’m sure that would suit Frances Bean just fine. Because after years of battling it out over money and guitars, TMZ says she’s finally free of her husband of 21 months. The only downside is he leaves with one of the late Kurt Cobain’s guitars.
And they said it wouldn’t last…oh, wait. That doesn’t work here. Call it the Kase of the Kurse of Kris Jenner or wandering peen or just moving way too fucking fast, but Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham are barreling through their break-up at just the pedal-to-the-medal speed they had when they first got together. It’s a shame they didn’t enter the Kentucky Derby last weekend because this is turning into the Triple Crown of celeb splits.
TMZ reports Colton has already filed for divorce from Jeff, his husband of six months and source of what appears to be every A-List flower arrangement in Los Angeles. Divorce documents were filed Tuesday, and people still aren’t sure why they’re over. Colton unfollowed Jeff on social media, and when he posted a song about cheating on YouTube, people figured Jeff had either boned someone who isn’t Colton or Colton was trying to be on American Idol.
Colton has since said Jeff didn’t cheat on him, so people still have no fucking clue as to what it was that broke these two up. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say Colton brought home a hanging plant from Home Depot, and that just really insulted Jeff’s Four Seasons-caliber florals and sent him into a tailspin. What? I’ve known gay couples who have broken up over far less! Like Beanie Babies. OK, fine. I was that gay couple who broke up over a Beanie Baby collection.