Since weed has a tendency to make annoying things more tolerable and tolerable things wonderful, some people get high before they go to Disneyland. It’s really the perfect place for it: bright colors, tons of candy and people wearing oversized foam costumes. It’s like a wholesome rave! Andrew Garfield did this once, and he recently talked about getting Disneylit to W magazine.
They let a woman bring a live cat into Disneyland, but when I try to get in with a 2L bottle of Dr. Pepper and red wine, I’m turned away. SMDH.
Time says that Grumpy Cat (aka Tardar Sauce), along with nearly two dozen other internet stars, were invited to Disneyland as a part of a digital media marketing campaign called #DisneySide, which was designed to promote Disney theme parks by driving traffic to YouTube, Vine shorts, and more. But enough boring Don Draper advertising talk, let’s bring on Grumpy Cat doing cute shit!!
Grumpy Cat and Grumpy Cat’s owner, Tabatha Bundesen, fulfilled their contractual obligation with a boring live appearance for #DisneySide (seriously, the cat can’t talk; stop asking it questions) then promptly moved on to letting Grumpy Cat do what she does best: struggling to walk and staring blankly at things. I this off-brand instant coffee is starting to decompose my brain, because a video of a dead-eyed cat riding various old-timey Disneyland vehicles wouldn’t normally delight me as much as it did.
Later, in a move even your lame Aunt Janet would roll her eyes at the predictability of, Grumpy Cat met with Grumpy the Dwarf to stare blankly into a wishing well. Afterwards, Grumpy took the monorail to Toon Town, where she struggled to walk into Pluto’s house. My favourite part was when Pluto pantomimed astonished surprise and Grumpy Cat sat there waiting to be removed from such nonesense.
Grumpy Cat finished the day by meeting with another internet meme, Ridiculously Photogenic Guy, and broke the internet by taking a really cute picture together.
I strongly advise all women not to look directly into Ridiculously Photogenic Guy’s eyes, unless you want your ovaries to melt like a Nazi’s face after looking at the Arc of the Covenant. For real though, where’s Ridiculously Photogenic Guy’s video diary of his trip around Disneyland? Can I volunteer for that job? I come with an iPhone 4 and the promise not to get too weird.