Disney owns Marvel. Marvel = money. So it must have come as a bitter disappointment to them this weekend when the latest film in their OTHER franchise universe (Solo: A Star Wars Story) performed below expectations at the box office. The Hollywood Reporter says that Solo was predicted to take in between $130 and $150 million at the domestic box office this holiday weekend. So far, it’s only earned around $83.3 million for the three-day weekend (and $101 million for the four-day weekend) Blame the film’s pinch hitter director Ron Howard. He hasn’t made a good flick since Splash.
Back in 1998, Disney did the world a solid by inadvertently creating a hunky bisexual icon when they had Li Shang get the under-tunic-feels for Mulan, even though he thought she was a dude. With their planned live-action remake, Disney appears to be asking for take-backsies on the bisexuality because a casting call indicates that they are swapping out the character of Li Shang for some super straight dude named Chen Honghui.
Apparently, the terminally upbeat folks at Disney aren’t immune to lure of the dark, gaping chasm of despair that is the hallmark of #thesetryingtimes. Leave it to 2018 to harsh Mickey’s buzz so hard he starts posting dank memes about being dead inside.
There was a time not too long ago when if you heard that Disney was planning a live action/CGI hybrid of Lady and The Tramp, you might have had some reaction be it surprise (“whaa?”), confusion (“but why tho?”), or even anger (“how dare they!”) but I’m telling you now that they are and you are probably feeling nothing (“what else is new?”). Expectations for originality are at an all time low! According to The Hollywood Reporter, Lady and The Tramp 2.0 is its way. You know Disney is gonna keep pushing it until all that’s left are The Black Cauldron and Song Of The South and you know which one has stronger name recognition so…
LATT is being produced for Disney’s upcoming streaming service set to launch in 2019. Just because it’s not getting a big screen release doesn’t mean Disney isn’t putting some heat behind it. It is LATT after all. It’s going to be directed by Charlie Bean who also directed The Lego Ninjago Movie. THR says:
The fact that a remake of such a marquee and essential Disney title such as Lady and the Tramp will likely head to the service is another example of how serious the company is taking its streaming platform’s content. (Disney also recently hired Jon Favreau to write and executive produce a live-action Star Wars television series.)
I wonder if they’ll keep that racist ass Siamese cat song. I hope they do because honestly, it’s my favorite part of the movie (dogs eating spaghetti all romantic like is bullshit). Those cats were bitchy, petty and realistic as fuck. Maybe this time around they’ll update them to Devon Rex cats and they can be voiced by Disney remake vets Emily Blunt and Emma Watson.
Is Let it Go from Frozen a gay anthem? According to a number of people the answer is “well duh”. I thought it was about pissing your pants but I’m very literal minded. Huffington Post reports that plenty of folks think Elsa, the icy snow queen voiced by Idkajhakd Mkjadjh (aka Idina Menzel), is a gayelle and are hoping to see her get some lady lovin’ in the form a a girlfriend in the upcoming sequel. Idina herself has said that she’s excited that people are discussing the possibility. And Frozen 2: Dendritic Crystal Bugaloo (working title) writer and co-director Jennifer Lee has coyly teased the idea as well.
The House of Mouse is cranking up Take That today and crooning out “Rule The World” because it can apparently buy and sell us all. Its deal to buy a healthy chunk of 21st Century Fox means Mickey And Minnie will be EVERYWHERE!
CNBC says Disney is reaching a deal to acquire Fox’s television production and studio assets. While I’m sure Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck could do a better job than any of those hyenas on Fox News, the deal will apparently leave the news and sports assets still under Rupert Murdoch’s control. Whew! How else would he pay for Jerry Hall’s highlights?! Comcast is also in talks to buy off the Fox assets, but apparently the Disney negotiations are way further along. Thank God. Comcast can barely work my Internet, so how in HAIL are they going to run something else?
The deal would basically give Disney channels like National Geographic Channel, as well as regional sports networks, movie studios and stakes in Hulu and Sky. The value of those assets is estimated to be north of $60 billion. What’s left for Rupert? The Fox broadcast network, Fox Sports, and the news and business news divisions. I’m a little shocked he’d want to hold onto Sean Hannity like that, but Disney was apparently only offering one of those giant turkey legs from Disney World in exchange for him. Allegedly.