Unlike a certain goody, goody pop star who pretends like a wild night for her is when she, Meredith Grey, and Olivia Benson stay up late sipping Swiss Miss and watch Murder, She Wrote, Charli XCX ain’t fucking around. Or maybe she is. While she’s singing, “I was busy thinkin’ bout boys, boys, boys” in her latest video (same, girl), I can certainly see why. It’s like a peen parade. No, you don’t see actual peen, but plenty of man nalgas!
During Katy Perry’s 72-hour live-streaming attention-fest, she ranked her three most recent boyfriend from best to worst in the sack. We learned Katy had a great time with John Mayer, a decent time with Orlando Bloom, and sitting comfortably on the lowest sex rung was Diplo. Diplo responded to the news by claiming he doesn’t even remember having sex with that woman.
Taylor Swift took the attention away from Katy Perry on the day that her album Witness dropped. But Katy managed to steal back a shred of attention from her (now former?) nemesis, and all it took was a conversation about famous dick during the 72-hour livestream of her life.
Answer: Diddy gives a fuck, like a lot of fucks.
red beige and blue carpet posing portion of last night’s Met Gala, Diddy worked the cameras with his on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-again piece Cassie, and at one point he lounged on the steps like a man casually lounging on a display at Forever 21 while his girlfriend gets in a long line to try on a pair of jeans. That little smooth move brought out a dozen “Diddy Don’t Give A Fuck” headlines. Au contraire, bitch. Diddy does give a fuck and that shameless spotlight-shifting whore knew what he was doing.
Cassie stood there in a field of humongous ass sea urchins, working for those camera clicks, as Diddly easily got the cameras to move his way by casually strolling to the stairs for a little lounging time. Cassie’s dress is covered with giant plastic caterpillars (or are those giant Groucho Marx brows?) and Diddy gets all the attention by simply lounging like an evil vampire lounging on a velvet settee while eyeing his prey from across the room. Diddy wants us to think he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about her,” but we all know he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about moi.”
With that being said, I’d probably do the same thing, because standing is hard. And also, that dramatic lying down pose really does show off Diddy’s “Steven Seagal spending a casual afternoon at home” outfit.
And now we end our never-ending Mess Gala 2017 coverage with several dollops of hotness provided by the dudes of the night including ASkars, Riz Ahmed, Rami Malek and Luke Evans.
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty
The Grammys are the time and place for some high fashion fuckery. You can go high concept crazy (see: CeeLo Green), or you can go tacky casual with a twist of try hard. Halsey chose the latter. Halsey told Giuliana Rancic that her look was “a little TLC, a little Aaliyah.” When I first saw Halsey on the red carpet, I immediately got a T-Boz in the Creep video vibe. Halsey must have realized that she couldn’t blatantly rip-off such a legendary look without receiving a cease-and-desist, and so she added her own spin. And in this case, her spin was to ditch the matching robe and walk down the red carpet with her tits out. She also went with her natural hair, which was a choice. Personally I would have gone full-homage to T-Boz with some bangs and side-curtains. But I’ll give her a pass on this one. If she didn’t have time to steam the wrinkles out of her ensemble, I doubt she had time to clip on some hair.
The last time we checked in with Kate Hudson, she was coming off a long casual thing with Nick Jonas and wrapping herself around football player J.J. Watt. That was three months ago. Kate’s groupie coochie may have gotten nostalgic for that music industry peen, because according to UsWeekly, she’s once again seeing someone with a recording contract.
A source tells UsWeekly that Kate Hudson is currently dating DJ and former Twitter troll Diplo. The half of Diplo that’s “half straight” allegedly got together with Kate Hudson in Ibiza a few weeks ago when he was playing a club and she was vacationing with some friends. UsWeekly can’t say for sure when they officially met, but as you can see from the picture above, they’ve been friendly since at least the Met Gala back in May.
Kate’s people haven’t confirmed if she’s doing Diplo. Diplo’s people, on the other hand, have flat-out denied he’s remixing her business.
Even if Diplo’s people are right and they’re not humping, they really should. Kate dating Diplo makes so much sense, it’s almost creepy. They’re both blonde. They’re both 37-years-old. They both have two sons. They even have a “Taylor” connection: Kate used to be the face of Ann Taylor, and Diplo once tried to get a butt for Taylor Swift.
In the event they are actually dating, I don’t know why Diplo would want to deny that. His last sort-of maybe-relationship eventually took his too-old-for-this ass to Taylor Swift’s metaphorical high school locker hallway. You’d think he’d be happy to tell people that he’s going on the kind of dates that don’t end with him slowly driving past Kate’s arch enemy’s house while she ducks down in the front seat asking “Can you see her? Is she being the worst? I bet she totally is.”