Ashley Judd sat down with ABC’s Diane Sawyer for Good Morning America to talk about outing Harvey Weinstein as an “alleged” (*eye-roll*) drooling pig cretin pervface. Ashley was one of the first of what now appears to be dozens upon dozens of women finally speaking out about Harv. How Diane didn’t vom hearing first-hand about Harvey’s allegedly decades-long attempts to groom young women as his personal masseuses and/or sexy shower surveillance is baffling. Is there a word more emphatic than “cringe?” “Shudder?” “Retch” is pretty good. Continue reading
After months of rumors and tricks (this trick including) thinking that Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer might be a big STUNT QUEEN stunt to promote whatever Pimp Mama Kris wants promoted, Bruce bravely came out as transgender and said the words, “I am a woman.” I live in the past that is the West Coast, so the interview isn’t airing right now, but thank the fuck for whoever invented the Internet, high-speed, computers, etc., because now I don’t have to wait a million years to watch Bruce pull out his pony, shake his mane and give us “I am woman, hear me roar.”
Bruce told Diane that this is the last interview he will do as “Bruce” and he’s ready to fully live his life as a woman. (Note: ABC News says that at the time of his interview with Diane, Bruce said that he still wanted to be addressed as a “he” and “him,” so that’s why I’m doing it.)
“I would say I’ve always been very confused with my gender identity since I was this big. I tried to explain it, because I’ve had all my kids sitting in that chair … and I’ve tried to explain it this way. God’s looking down, making little Bruce … he says ‘Okay, what are gonna do with this one. Make him a smart kid, very determined … and then when he’s just finishing he says, ‘Let’s wait a second.’ God looks down and chuckles a little bit and says, ‘Hey, let’s give him the soul of a female.’
“Bruce lives a lie. She is not a lie,” Jenner said. “I can’t do it anymore.”
Bruce cackled when Diane told him that some people think the interview was a stunt to promote a reality show. Bruce told her that he wouldn’t go through everything he’s going through to promote a reality show. (Somewhere, PMK watched that and yelled at that screen, “That is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever said, Bruce!” ) Bruce said that the first person he told was his first wife Christy. When Diane asked if he’s gay, Bruce once again laughed and said that he’s strictly clitly. He’s never been with a dude and is still into women.
As for PMK, Bruce says that he was taking hormones 5 years before he got with her and he had 36C chichis at the time. She knew he was taking hormones and knew about his cross-dressing. Bruce didn’t say any bad shit about PMK and said that he “loved” her. ABC asked all three of Bruce’s ex-wives for a comment and the only one who didn’t give one was PMK. She had no comment. In PMK’s defense, it’s kind of impossible to comment as she’s screaming into a pillow because Bruce is getting all the attention.
UPDATE: After Perez Hilton called her out for not saying shit on Twitter, PMK tweeted this.
Does she kiss Lucifer’s ass lips with that mouth?! ABC claims that they e-mailed her PR team several times and was finally told that she had no comment. And you know the Bruce she’s sitting with isn’t Bruce Jenner. It’s some dude named Bruce she picked up at a bar and plans to suck the life out of later.
Bruce Jenner’s 2-hour interview with Diane Sawyer is a little over a week away, but ABC is already milking the hell out of it like it’s a Kardashian vagina and the interview is a black dick. Everyone has reported that Bruce will use the interview to go public about his transition and will talk about the process. But the Kartrashians have been very vague about Bruce’s “journey” and so has ABC. The first promo didn’t even show his face and the second one, which ABC pushed out today, is still pretty vague. The voiceover dude brings the drama in heavy doses and I want him to narrate my life, because he’d make it sound way more interesting than it is. “Michael…… Getting out of bed…. Walking to the bathroom… Pissing while picking his eye crusties out… The journey… The decisions…”
In this second promo, Bruce Jenner actually speaks! And he doesn’t say much.
If you didn’t watch it, the only thing Bruce says is, “My whole life has been getting me ready for this.”
Because Bruce hasn’t yet said himself that he’s transitioning, some people don’t believe that’s what this interview is about. I do think Bruce is transitioning and believe that’s what this interview is about, but the promos have been so damn vague that I wouldn’t be too surprised if he said, “My whole life has been getting me ready for this. Diane, I am transitioning… from… a former track and field athlete to a competitive toy helicopter racer!” The end. Roll credits as Pimp Mama Kris cackles.
Veteran news journalist Sheila Weller’s book titled The News Sorority about Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric and Christiane Amanpour’s rise to the top is coming out in a minute and to sell that shit, her publisher gave The Daily Beast (via UsWeekly) some of the book’s juiciest highlights. In the book, Sheila claims that when Diane Sawyer was the queen of Good Morning America and Katie Couric was the queen of Today, they hated each other and regularly battled it out for scoops. Katie was the Alexis to Diane’s Krystle, basically. At one point, Katie allegedly said (or joked) that Diane sucks dick for interviews. Who knew that Diane Sawyer was the Rita Ora of morning news shows?
Sheila writes that Katie once tried to get an interview with one of Diane’s famous friends and when Diane found out about it, she got her husband Mike Nicholas to call the friend and let them know that their friendship would be over if they went on Today. Some source also told Sheila that when Diane scooped Katie for an interview with a 57-year-old woman who birthed out twins, Katie showed her jealous ass by hating on Diane’s immaculate head game.
You weren’t the only one drunkenly slurring out nonsense about exclamation points and music (Wurr’s da muzak?!) during last night’s 12-hour-long America’s Next Top President season finale, so was Diane Sawyer. Maybe! Since the Food Network didn’t air a special election night cocktail party hosted by Drunk Ass Sandra Lee and NBC made the wrong decision by not making Kathie Lee Gifford the star of their election night news coverage, somebody had to get drunk and deliver the news with a slur and that somebody was Diane Sawyer.
As George Stethoscopeolous sat there, dreading the moment when he’ll have to hold back Diane’s hair as she drunk barfs into a trash can in his dressing room later in the night, Diane asked who ever to play the music, rambled on about whatever and sometimes she looked like you when you’re drunk as all shit in front of your parents and concentrating hard on trying to look sober.
Sure, it’s possible that Diane Sawyer hasn’t slept since the last election ended and was suffering from the chronic tireds, but it’s more fun to think of her starting off her night right by buttchugging chardonnay and snorting whole Xanax pills.
The news should always look like this.