Last Summer’s Conclave Of Insufferability (aka Coachella) was momentarily derailed when Beyoncé had to pull out because she was 900 months pregnant with twins. The Beyhive hipsters had to take Lady Gaga as a consolation prize with the promise that Yoncé would be back to perform at the 2018 festival. Well, it looks like she won’t be preggo this time around, so the show will go on! But don’t expect any Destiny’s Child reunion stunts to go down (that’s for Super Bowls only). Continue reading
In case your friends posting all over Instagram and Facebook this weekend about how Beyoncé changed their lives didn’t give you a hint, Queen B turned 36 yesterday. She managed to snatch the Labor Day focus off BBQ and summertime sadness, and onto herself for the highest holiday in the Beyhive’s calendar.
But Bey’s day wasn’t celebrated how us normal folks might do. We have happy hour margaritas and inevitable tears about accomplishing jack shit. Beyoncé has Michelle Obama dressing up in a Beyonce costume for an artistic photo shoot. Continue reading
Where were you when the most beautiful artistic and cultural moment since the Mona Lisa smirked happened this week?
Queen Beyonce revealed that she was pregnant with the future, TWICE, in a stunning photoshoot that was seemingly an homage to trailer park teen moms, the Sears Portrait Studio, the automotive industry and funeral flowers. Earth had so many questions after the pregnancy pictures that shattered the Internet, chief among them being, “Is she still going to headline Coachella?” (The other question being, “Is she for real?,” but we don’t voice that one because the Beyhive is a terrifying organization.)
My name is Ben and I am now your designated weekend tour guide through the fabulous world of celebrity fuckery, basic bitch battles and moments that will make your eyes roll into the back of your head so hard you’ll be able to see your own brain!
Pleasure to meet you. Now let’s get started.
In recent ‘Please Love Us Again!’ news the members of Destiny’s Child have launched their very first Instagram page! Even though these heifers haven’t produced a hit together in what seems like fifty years (the group disbanded back in the pre-iPhone Stone Age of 2005) the presence of their new Instagram account is causing fits of throwback nostalgia for everyone who remembers the time when Beyonce’ traveled exclusively with her two favorite backup singers and terrorized the charts with timeless wasted-at-karaoke-night anthems like ‘Bootylicious’, ‘Survivor’ and ‘Soldier’. Continue reading