Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s all-star royal wedding spectacular may have been stuffed full of more celebrities than the damn Met Gala, and brought out the likes of The Mighty O and Tom Hardy, who became all of us by falling asleep with his eyes open. But Princess Eugenie had Naomi Campbell on her wedding guest list today. The St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle was probably filled with the clickity clack sounds of Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan furiously pounding away at their iPhones while rage-texting their wedding guest booker for not getting them THEE Naomi Campbell.
I can’t even do so much as buy a pack of gum at a CVS one neighborhood over without the Visa powers-at-be calling me multiple times to make sure that wasn’t a fraudulent charge on my prepaid Visa Vanilla with a $10 limit. I’m kidding, it’s a $20 limit. Because of that, I’m taking this story with a heavy dose of side-eye, but I guess someone got ahold of Demi Moore’s American Express, and the security team at AmEx took the month off because they managed to rack up over $169,000 in charges over several weeks at places like Saks Fifth Avenue before getting caught. Winona Ryder, what’s your alibi, girl? Continue reading
Breakups can be a real bitch on the emotions and tear ducts, but I always view them as an excuse to binge eat, toss back a liter of whiskey, and listen to my Spotify playlist called “Sylvia Plath Fantasia.” Not everyone takes my approach (idiots), and that includes Ashton Kutcher. He’s blabbing this week that he handled his divorce with Demi Moore by living for two weeks like I imagine a Björk/Bon Iver baby would live out a lifetime by fasting and living in the woods for a week. Continue reading
Radar reports that known cougar Demi Moore is shacking up with known cub Nick Jonas on the DL at a friend’s downtown Los Angeles loft. That’s no way to treat Nick, Demi! He prefers to be out in the public, preferably shirtless and in a gay-baiting situation! But a source says she’s keeping it under wraps (until now) since Ashton Kutcher really put her through the ringer with their divorce:
“Demi doesn’t want any more public humiliations after getting dumped by Ashton.”
If rumors are true, the 50-year-old was set up with the 25-year-old via Rumer Willis, her 29-year-old daughter, per the source:
“Rumer knows Demi is attracted to younger guys, and she figured that since Nick is single and has experience with older women, he’d be up for a love connection. They hit it off — and now Demi and Nick are hooking up.”
Demi knows her way around a younger piece. She was married to Ashton, who was 16 years younger than her. After they divorced, she moved on with the 31-year-old rocker Sean Friday, 36-year-old Pink Taco owner Harry Morton, and 31-year-old art dealer Vito Schnabel. Harry got a few punches on his Moore family frequent boner card since he also dated Rumer. But out of all the young blood, apparently Nick’s is the manliest, says the snitch:
“Nick is Demi’s youngest man yet, but he’s one of the most mature guys she’s ever been with.”
I guess that means Nick doesn’t giggle at the phrase “pink taco” like Harry does!
Several weeks ago, Scarlett Johansson was reportedly seen at a Saturday Night Live after-party putting some mouth moves on Weekend Update’s Colin Jost. Last week E! News asked Colin if he had anything to say about the Scarlett rumors, to which he replied: “What?! No way. No, I’m good.” He also said he was “very happy” in his personal life. Colin didn’t want to talk about it, and that sort of made me think it could have just been a drunken party hookup. As it turns out, it might not be so casual.
Ashton Kutcher was given the Robert D. Ray Pillar of Character Award from Drake University, and UsWeekly says the award is given to individuals “who demonstrate good character as a role model.” Apparently Drake University thought that was Ashton Kutcher.