Several weeks ago, Scarlett Johansson was reportedly seen at a Saturday Night Live after-party putting some mouth moves on Weekend Update’s Colin Jost. Last week E! News asked Colin if he had anything to say about the Scarlett rumors, to which he replied: “What?! No way. No, I’m good.” He also said he was “very happy” in his personal life. Colin didn’t want to talk about it, and that sort of made me think it could have just been a drunken party hookup. As it turns out, it might not be so casual.
Ashton Kutcher was given the Robert D. Ray Pillar of Character Award from Drake University, and UsWeekly says the award is given to individuals “who demonstrate good character as a role model.” Apparently Drake University thought that was Ashton Kutcher.
Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer called it quits on their 9-year marriage almost two months ago and one would naturally assume that his triumphant return to the Pussy Posse would last the better part of a year. (I believe the re-initiation process requires at least 6,969 hours of supervised model-banging.) However, it looks like Tobey could possibly be more interested in dating right now.
A source tells Radar that Tobey might be dating Demi Moore. In a very weird turn of events for a Pussy Posse member, Demi Moore is 13 years older than Tobey.
Demi and Tobey were rumored to be dating way back in 2002 before she got with Ashton Kutcher and he got married. The source tells Radar that Demi reached out to Tobey after the news of his split from Jennifer, and that “it didn’t take long for things to heat up.” The source claims Demi and Tobey’s conversation was innocent enough at first, but then she started reminiscing about “the good times” and it snowballed from there.
“Demi is still a sexy, attractive woman, and Tobey is just her type — younger, smart and kind of goofy. She’d like more than a hookup. She’s very lonely these days and looking for someone to share her life with. Who knows where this will go?”
Neither Demi nor Tobey have confirmed they’re doing anything with each other, so this could literally just be some fanfic created by a bored intern at Radar. I like to believe it’s real. Sure, the Pussy Posse handbook states that all boners should be aimed at 20-year-old bikini models, but Demi counts. Some parts of her are in their 20s and she may not technically be a bikini model, but that doesn’t mean she’s not a pro at taking bikini selfies.
Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Hedwig and the Angry Inch starring Darren Criss (all together: groooooan) and it brought out Demi Moore who was dressed like she accidentally stumbled onto the carpet while searching for a juice box and a cookie. You know, there may be a very good reason for why Demi Moore looks like a middle-aged Anna from Frozen in a half-assed Dennis the Menace disguise. That woman next to Demi is her friend, costume designer Arianne Phillips, so maybe the two are working on an updated reboot of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and Demi plays Mary Hartman who lives her life as though she’s trapped in a Snapchat filter (see: flower crown) and considers Stewie from Family Guy her fashion icon. Demi is trying to be all method so she wore her costume out. Yeah, that must be it…
Courtney Love was also there last night and she looked pretty good. When you’re at the same event as Courtney Love and Courtney Love looks less messy than you, it’s time for a long talk with God….or your stylist.
Saint Laurent’s show at The Hollywood Palladium in L.A. was last night and I guess the invitation read: Come dressed as a strung-out performer in Florida’s Meth Circus. I’m also guessing that Justin Bieber and Lady CaCa were the only ones who followed that dress code because DAMN. Gaga looks like a drunk, clingy auntie who is trying to relive her glory days by wearing one of her favorite outfits from the 80s and Justin Bieber looks like her messy teen nephew who is impatiently waiting for her to pass out into a drunken coma so he can go into her purse and steal enough money to buy a baggy of the bad shit.
If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if Nancy Spungen played Susan in Desperately Seeking Susan, wonder no more. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Hmmm, I wonder what it would look like if Harpo Marx played Riff Raff, Columbia AND Magenta in a community theater production of Rocky Horror Picture Show?“, you don’t have to ask yourself that question anymore. Lady Gaga answered both of those questions at the Saint Laurent show last night when she showed up in a sequined blazer that screamed, “affordable Michael Jackson impersonator,” makeup that screamed, “cracked out Casper the Friendly Ghost,” and a wig that looked like a pile of uncooked curly fries.
Gaga, Justin Bieber and his struggle stache managed to achieve the impossible, though. They managed to be the messiest messes at an event that Courtney Love was at. Because when Courtney Love showed up looking clean and hot, I doubt the door person said to her, “Um, no loitering! No loitering,” like they did with the Biebs and Gaga.
So Gaga and Justin Bieber should give themselves a slow clap for that.
And here’s a million more pictures from last night’s show including some of the hotness personified that is the Kravitz family and American-Canadian fresh drew drop Pamela Anderson with her son Brandon Lee who used an entire jar of hair grease to give you “Young Elvis.”
TMZ says that early this morning, cops were called to Demi Moore’s house in Beverly Hills after the body of a 21-year-old man was found in her pool. Demi wasn’t home at the time and is out of town.
Tallulah Willis (not Rumer and not the other one who is a nipple baring crusader on Instagram) has Instagrammed pictures of pool parties during the past couple of weeks and Demi’s neighbors say that the Willis daughters have been partying there hard almost every night, but they weren’t there last night. They were in NYC. TMZ is hearing that Demi’s assistant threw the pool party and invited the 21-year-old man. The police don’t think anything shady or murder-ey went down. They believe it was a sad, tragic accident. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that Demi’s assistant and their friends left the house last night, leaving the 21-year-old man behind. When they got back early this morning, they found his body at the bottom of the pool. It looks like he slipped, fell into the pool and drowned. He apparently couldn’t swim.
When I first saw this story this morning, I got shades of Michael Barrymore and also figured that this may have been a “dangers of boozing and night swimming” accident. But TMZ says that the pool party wasn’t exactly a sweet nectar fiesta and there was “limited alcohol” there.
The man’s name hasn’t been released yet. Demi also hasn’t released a statement yet and probably because she’s busy getting ready for her close-up. The investigation is ongoing.