Less than two months after she announced to the world (aka her Instagram followers) that she was climbing the muscled parts of the appropriately-named UFC fighter Luke Rockhold, TMZ says they’re over. But don’t cry for Demi. She’s reportedly already made the transition to another hard-bodied rassler.
Mariah Carey was on Watch What Happens Live (via ET) last night to push her mostly boring reality show, and whenever the Spanx-wrapped unicorn and the shifty Siamese Cat get together, the clubhouse floor gets covered with shadiness. Mimi didn’t totally disappoint last night.
Glamour’s annual Women of the Year award happened last night in Hollywood and the dress code must’ve been: MESS! Because most of them were.
Gwen Stefani (in the gallery) looked like an off-brand quinceañera Barbie and Zendaya (also in the gallery) wore some floral glove things that made it look like she just double fisted a flower fairy. And then there was Amber Heard whose dress looks like it was made out of the dusty curtains, crib skirt and pillow trim from an old-timey rich baby girl’s nursery. That dress is what Miss Havisham would wear if she was finally evicted from Satis House and had to make coins by selling ass at a brothel.
Amber hasn’t worked many red carpets ever since she settled her divorce from the angry scarf rack, so maybe she purposefully wore something busted. That way reporters wouldn’t ask her about Johnny Depp, because they’d be too busy wondering who and what the hell she’s wearing. Well played!
And here’s a zillion more pictures from last night including Lena Dunham who worked baby bangs and a constipated face.
Less than a month ago, there was a rumor that Demi Lovato was being wooed by John Mayer. Taylor Swift’s least favorite couple never came to be. At the time, Demi was reportedly with 32-year-old UFC fighter Luke Rockhold, whose name name sounds like Barney Rubble’s Grindr username. Demi was seen being couple-y with Luke last week at an L.A. Rams game, but since she’s a millennial, their relationship can’t be upgraded to “confirmed” until they’re seen looking couple-y on social media. Demi did that yesterday.
Demi posted a picture on Instagram last night of her working the classic “Yes this is my man” hand-on-thigh pose.
Luke posted the same photo, an action which I believe legally binds them together as famous boyfriend and girlfriend. The “last night” Demi is referring to was the UFC 205 fight at Madison Square Garden on Saturday. Demi and Luke were joined at said fight by Nick Jonas, who E! News says got in on Duke’s official social media debut by Snapchatting their date.
As for how serious Demi and Luke are, a source told E! last week that Demi wants to keep it casual right now. First he has to pass the ultimate loyalty test: how does he react during one of Demi’s messy Twitter rants? If he DMs her a message asking her to get off Twitter, he’s GONE. But if he joins in with tweets about people not being able to handle “his truth” or replying to haters with “delete your account“, he’s a keeper.
Here’s a bit more of Demi and Luke making sure the paps get enough good angles of their held-hands at UFC 205 on Saturday night.
John Mayer either whispered something semi-romantic like, “Tell your pharmacy to get the Valtrex ready because I’m going to fuck the herp into that puss tonight,” or something really romantic like, “My David Duke cock wants to fuck the Mexican out of that multi-racial puss.”
Demi Lovato’s coochie may have missed the steady diet of douche dick she got before breaking up with Wilmer Valderrama, because UsWeekly thinks that maybe she’s moved on to John Mayer. John and Demi showed up separately to a restaurant called Catch (John Mayer at a restauranted called Catch = TOO EASY) in L.A. on Saturday night, but once they both got inside, they sat next to each other and he supposedly blew a sweet Summer’s Eve breeze into her ear while wrapping his arm around her.
Of course she wasn’t! Demi Lovato is about to learn that if you grab the sugar cookie, you get the sharp shards of royal icing. I don’t know what that means, but it feels like something said by Taylor Swift while staring menacingly out of a window in the war room of her gingerbread house.