Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.
Little nuggets about the upcoming Will & Grace reboot have been dropping lately, including how they’re basically going to ignore the whole Will and Grace live happily ever after away from each other finale. But, one key component will not be back for the revival: ROSARIO! But, but, but!!!! She’s the best part! If anyone could scale Trump’s wall and teach President Cheeto Head a lesson, it’s her! The way she would call Karen a booze bag and scream before they eventually hugged it out has been my model for friendship since, well, ever! I grew up thinking the show needed to be called Jack & Karen & Rosario, so I’m really wondering why NBC even bothered giving this more episodes before the first episode even airs! Continue reading
Rather than inspire Will & Grace fanfiction entailing Grace Adler as a production assistant on Harry Connick Jr.’s daytime talk show, the creators of errybody’s favorite gay/st8 sitcom revival are pretending needy husbands and snot-nosed brats children never happened!
EW reports Will (Eric McCormack) and Grace (Susan Sarandon’s BFF Debra Messing) will be single, childless, and gay-gay-gaying it up in their New York apartment. OK, fine, they can hag it up, too. Just a little. Show creator Max Mutchnick gave their reasoning:
Not that I’m hating on Andy Cohen’s shit-stirring antics, because they do give me something to post about. So shit-stir on, you shady bitch.
This past election was such a horrifying shit show (not that the current state of crap is any better) that it destroyed lives, ruined relationships and caused gingers to turn against each other. Mega example: The Queen of the Bernie Bros., Susan Sarandon, and Ride Or Die For Hillary team leader, Debra Messing. Their Twitter feud all started before Hillary Clinton won the Democratic nomination. Susan said that if the presidential showdown came down to Trump and Clinton, some Bernie Bros. would not be able to vote for Clinton. Also, while perched on her rich lady throne, Susan said that Trump’s win could bring on the revolution. Debra dragged Susan for that and it was on. One month after Susan and Debra’s Twitter fight royale, Susan was on Watch What Happens Live where she said that Debra needed a hobby. Susan was on Watch What Happens Live again on Monday and Andy Cohen brought out a microwave-safe dish to reheat the ginger beef between her and Debra.
When you drag your living carcass out of bed tomorrow morning, before you do anything, go to the mirror and say, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” I’d bet my weekly weed budget that your half-asleep, out-of-it ass would say that line with more enthusiasm and charisma than TV Johnny Castle does in the first trailer for the Dirty Dancing remake we really don’t need. If Baby being put in a corner is dependent on Johnny’s delivery of that line, then Baby better forward all her mail to “A Corner” because she’s going to stay there permanently.
A couple of weeks after ABC dribbled out dreadful stills from their Dirty Dancing remake, they’ve released a 30-second teaser trailer and survey says: MESS! This looks like a Dirty Dancing tribute done by the cast of a knock-off Glee TV show that airs on Freeform. Abigail Breslin (who is 21 in real life) looks like she’s barely in junior high school here and Colt Prattes (who is 30 in real life) looks much older than her. So when he asks Baby, who looks like a baby, what her name is, I expected Chris Hansen to jazz walk out and tell Johnny Castle to have a seat in the chair over there.
— Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) April 24, 2017
And I have a feeling that there’s going to be gale force winds on the night of May 24th. Because the makers of Dirty Dancing 2, the Dirty Dancing reality show and the Dirty Dancing TV series are all going to breathe out a giant sigh of relief since they’ll no longer be the ones responsible for the worst butchering of Dirty Dancing in history.
No, that isn’t a picture of your uncoordinated cousin recreating the Dirty Dancing lift for her engagement announcement on Facebook. That’s a picture from a professional production of Dirty Dancing, and it sums it all up, pretty much.
If you buried the gross, hurtful memory of ABC’s remake of Dirty Dancing and forgot about it, then I apologize for bringing it back up with these pictures that came out yesterday. I bet that right after ABC released stills from their Dirty Dancing remake, every TV critic started pre-writing their review and they’re first line is: I DIDN’T have the time of my life.
ABC’s Dirty Dancing stars Abigail Breslin (as Baby), dancer/Instagram THOT Colt Prattes (as Johnny Castle), Debra Messing (as Baby’s mom), Bruce Greenwood (as Baby’s daddy), Sarah Hyland (as Baby’s sister) and Nicole Scherzinger (as Penny). It’ll splatter onto TV screens on May 24. I know the phrase “this is a Dollar Tree version of” is overused (and mostly by me), but this looks worse than a Dollar Tree version of Dirty Dancing. It’s like the head bitches at ABC thought, “I know what our viewers want! An exact remake of Dirty Dancing but cheaper-looking and shitty!”
These stills looking like they’re from an unauthorized Dirty Dancing remake called Filthy Moves that’s sold exclusively on subway platforms. I know that Baby isn’t exactly the definition of glamour, but in every picture, Abigail Breslin looks like she just rolled out of bed, where she’s been for the past 3 weeks while sick with a serious case of the flu.
The only thing that can save this blasphemous DD remake is Katey Sagal as the hot cougar who gets revenge on Johnny for choosing Baby over her. See. This DD remake already doesn’t make sense. Who would choose Baby over this pure hotness?
And Johnny Castle looks like he just got back from playing Danny Zuko in a community theater production of Grease. Oh well, at least Patrick Swayze is getting in some cardio from rolling so much.