Category: Debbie Rowe

Debbie Rowe Has Cancer

July 5, 2016 / Posted by:

TMZ says that Michael Jackson’s ex-wife and Prince and Paris Jackson’s mommy Debbie Rowe has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer at 57. Sources say that Debbie will undergo surgery sometime in the next week, but that’s about all that’s known.

When TMZ first reported yesterday that Debbie was about to battle breast cancer, they said that Paris Jackson didn’t know and probably didn’t want to know about her mama’s medical situation. They claimed that after Michael died seven years ago, Paris got close with Debbie and that made things awkward with the Jacksons. About a year ago, Paris started going through some stuff, and eventually stopped talking to Debbie (something Debbie thinks the Jacksons were responsible for). Basically, things got messy, which isn’t exactly surprising when you’re talking about the Jacksons. TMZ says Debbie hadn’t spoken to Paris in over a year, and she was sad that she wouldn’t have her daughter by her side for emotional support while she went through her breast cancer fight.

However, today TMZ is taking an eraser to their original story and rubbing out that part about Paris deleting her mama from her life. Sources close to the Jacksons (probably Tito?) tell TMZ that shortly after Paris found out that Debbie had been diagnosed with breast cancer, she texted her mom “I love you.” The source sort of elaborates on what broke Paris and Debbie’s relationship; apparently Debbie had rules and Paris didn’t like that. The source goes on to say that Paris plans on getting together with Debbie after her surgery.

Whatever happened, I’m glad that it sounds like Paris and Debbie might have put it behind them. And if any of those Jacksons try to make trouble for Debbie and Paris on the day they reunite, I hope Debbie is lucid enough to buzz for the head nurse. If there’s anyone who can bust up some drama, it’s an “I’ve been working too many hours to put up with your nonsense” nurse.

Pic: Splash

Katherine Jackson Gets Custody

July 30, 2009 / Posted by:

Debbie Rowe’s three magical wolves of protection can have a little fun (wink wink) and take a long Calgon bath, because they won’t have to go into battle against Katherine Jackson anytime soon. Katherine’s lawyer went on CBS’ Early Show (via E!) this morning and said that a custody deal has been reached. Per Michael’s wishes, Katherine will get full custody of Paris and Prince Michael. Debbie co-signed that as long as she gets to visit. Oh and she also wants a psychiatrist brought in to meet with the kids. I think the middle wolf came up with that idea. He’s the smartest one.

TMZ says that DebRo didn’t (WARNING: Hold on to something sturdy and throw a mattress on the floor) didn’t want any more money. The only two things she asked for was visitation rights and for the kids to hang out with a child psychologist to help them deal with all the changes in their lives.

When the Early Show asked Katherine’s lawyer about reports that the villainous puppet master known as Joe Jackson wasn’t going to help “raise” the kids, he said, “I don’t think it’s valid at all. I think Joe Jackson is the husband of Mrs. Jackson, but he’s not living in Los Angeles.

Translation: Katherine keeps a wreath made out of garlic on her front door to ward Joe Jackson off.

The Magic Is Still With Debbie Rowe

July 28, 2009 / Posted by:

This is the second time in one month that Debbie Rowe has been seen wearing the enchanted and mysterious Three Wolf Moon t-shirt! Since then, hundreds of people have donated their lives to serving her, money randomly falls on her from the sky and she even found her vagina on the first try. Debbie is never taking it off.

Besides, I doubt she can take it off! It’s stuck to her like a magnet. The wolves feed on Debbie’s nipple crust, under titty butter and pit juice for protein and nourishment. They’re all good and they will be there forever!

Here’s more of the wolf master visiting Dr. Klein’s office yesterday. Yes, THAT Dr. Klein.

The Magic Is With Debbie Rowe

July 3, 2009 / Posted by:

Are your loins suddenly guiding you closer to the screen? Do you feel like you need to quit your job, throw your man (or woman) out the window, pack up your flavored lube collection and move to Palmdale, CA so you can rest in Debbie Rowe’s mighty arms for the rest of your days? HOLD BACK, because it’s just the power of the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt at work! The howling from the wolves are tempting you to ride Debbie’s glorious moon, but you have to RESIST! You mustn’t give in! Put some ice cubes on your nipples and look away!

You know Debbie is going to wear this under her Big & Tall pantsuit to the custody hearing, so that the three wolves can hypnotize the Jackson family into signing over EVERYTHING. Damn. The butchie is good.

Here’s Debbie wielding the power of the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt while doing butt stuff with a horse at her ranch in CA yesterday.

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