Pimp Mama Kris, Dina and Michael Lohan, and all the other pimp managers out there better raise their canes and lower the pimp feather in their pimp hat at half-mast, because one of the masters of the game is now dead. TMZ says Joe Jackson died early at around 3:30 this morning
in L.A. at a hospice in Las Vegas. He was about a month away from turning 90.
Say what you will about the recently departed Hugh Hefner, at least he didn’t pull a Jerry Lewis and screw his family out of his fortune. TMZ is reporting that although his widow Crystal Hefner was not included in his will, he did provide for her to the tune of $5 million and a house before his death.
TMZ says that the one-time Godfather of Fox News smacked his head on the floor after falling in his Palm Beach home on May 10. Ailes reportedly got a blood clot from falling and he was put in an induced coma. He died today. Ailes also had all sorts of other ailments (sorry) that lead to his waltz into the afterworld with the Grim Reaper.
Roger Ailes was a political consultant who worked on campaigns for Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush before becoming the founding CEO at Fox News in 1996. As anyone who can never look at raw hamburger meat the same way again knows, Roger Ailes’ last days at Fox News were filled with allegation after allegation after allegation from past and current Fox News female employees (like Gretchen Carlson, Andrea Tantaros and Megyn Kelly) who say that he sexually harassed him.
Reporter and author Gabriel Sherman, who wrote a biography on Roger Ailes, said that one of the Fox News employees, who claims to have suffered gross sexual abuse by the hand of Ailes, said this about his death: “Justice.” And his wife of 19 years, Elizabeth Ailes, said this:
“I am profoundly sad and heartbroken to report that my husband, Roger Ailes, passed away this morning. Roger was a loving husband to me, to his son Zachary, and a loyal friend to many. He was also a patriot, profoundly grateful to live in a country that gave him so much opportunity to work hard, to rise — and to give back.”
Bid farewell to Fidel Castro. The 90-year-old former
despot president of Cuba passed away on Friday after several years of poor health.
According to Wikipedia, Fidel’s revolutionary group aided in overthrowing Cuban president Fulgencio Batista during the Cuban Revolution in 1959, which was when he assumed military and political power as Prime Minister. Fidel then turned Cuba Communist.
Snake Salvation is a reality show on the National Geographic Channel (who is obviously coming hard for TLC’s fuckery crown) that follows two Pentecostal pastors, Jamie Coots of Kentucky and Andrew Hamblin of Tennessee, who believe that deadly, poisonous snakes cannot kill them and that a bite from a snake is God’s will. They believe that God has commanded them “take up serpents” and a snakebite will not kill them as long as they are anointed by God’s power. I’ve seen half of an episode of Snake Salvation and it’s the second most disturbing reality show about crazies and vipers (the first being Keeping Up with the Kardashians, of course). Well, one of the on-the-job hazards of being a snake-handling pastor is that one of the snakes will bite you dead and that’s exactly what happened to Jamie Coots on Saturday.
The New York Daily News says while preaching to his congregation at the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name Church of Middlesboro, KY on Saturday, the rattlesnake he was handling rose up against him and bit his hand. Jamie Coots once said that he would quit the church if he ever went to the hospital for a snake bite, so when someone at the church called 911, he busted out of there and went home. When the EMTs followed him home, he rebuked their help and sent them away. The EMTs left after Jamie Coots repeatedly told them he didn’t want to be treated. When they came back an hour later to check on him, he was dead. That X-Files episode was real.
Like TMZ said, handling snakes during a religious service is illegal in Kentucky, but Jamie Coots obviously didn’t give three shits about that. He was arrested in 2008 for keeping 74 snakes in his house and he was given a year probation in 2013 when got caught crossing the street in Tennessee with poisonous snakes. The National Geographic Channel released this statement about Jamie Coots’ death:
“Those risks were always worth it to him and his congregants as a means to demonstrate their unwavering faith. We were honored to be allowed such unique access to Pastor Jamie and his congregation during the course of our show, and give context to his method of worship. Our thoughts are with his family at this difficult time.”
Well, now Jamie Coots is in up in the Kingdom of God playing with all the serpents he wants while Darwin winks at him from the corner. And well, I guess Jamie Coots died doing what he loves most.
And if that story wasn’t disturbing enough for you, here’s Jamie Coots showing off the finger that rotted and broke off after a snake bit it.
Go and spend more time with Roo and Penny if you need a palate cleanser after seeing that rotted off finger in a jar….
The 65-year-old father of four who entertained millions by flaming out on the front lawn of the General Mills headquarters during an anti-gay protest died in his car this past weekend. Michael L. Leisner of Andover, Minnesota became an overnight breakout star on the anti-gay protester circuit when his son uploaded a video of him almost leaving the lawn of the GM headquarters in flames after burning a box of Honey Nut Cheerios to protest the company’s support of same-sex marriage. The video went viral and ended up everywhere from The Daily Show to Chelsea Lately.
The Star Tribune says that Michael Leisner drove his sons to tennis practice on Saturday afternoon and while waiting in the car for them, he suddenly died. The senior pastor of the Christian Center Michael was a member of didn’t give a cause of death and he didn’t say if his last words were, “Damn you, Count Chocula.” The pastor said that he just died in his car. The pastor also said that Michael was a loving husband and father who just so happened to hate gays and the Honey Nut Bee:
“[The video] doesn’t accurately reflect who he was as an individual. He was a very loving and caring father of his four children, a loving husband and he seemed to get along with other people.”