The first red carpet premiere of Aquaman happened yesterday in London. The first reviews of Aquaman have actually been pretty good, which is nice for DC Films and Warner Bros., because anything that helps people forget about the turd titled Justice League is no doubt much appreciated. Sadly that’s where the good reviews end, and the shady ones begin. And I’m of course talking about the couture swim cap Amber Heard wore to the premiere yesterday.
Anyone still holding out a shred of hope that Disney will have a change of heart and re-hire James Gunn to direct the next Guardians of the Galaxy film better lower their expectations down to zero percent (I’m looking at you, Dave Bautista). Because if this news is true, then DC might be in the midst of poaching James Gunn to the other side of superhero franchises.
Looks like the people over at DC were inspired by their latest Batman, Ben Affleck, much more than anyone first thought. Not really by his performance of Batman itself, but by the performance of his dick somewhere else. Does art imitate life or life imitate art? Who knows.
Vice is reporting that in the first of a three-issue miniseries called Damned, our favorite extremely rich and broody super hero Batman, shows us his tool, and not one from around his belt, honey. That’s right: Batman shows dick, and we aren’t talking Grayson. The NSFW (Is comic book dick NSFW?) is after the cut, and like Batman, Batdick is moody as hell and lurks in the shadows.
The Superman suit isn’t the only spandex superhero costume that Warner Bros. might have to think about filling with a new actor. Rumors that Ben Affleck is done playing Batman have been circulating for over a year now, and Warner Bros. has never commented on that. If Warner Bros. is thinking of replacing Ben, Jon Hamm is up for it.
Yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter broke news that we might never see Henry Cavill’s thick thighs squeezed into his Superman suit ever again. Warner Bros. released a statement saying they loved working with Henry and that no decisions have been made, but they wouldn’t confirm whether he was officially done or not. Henry has jumped into the conversation, but he hasn’t said much either.
Jared Leto has filmed one DC superhero universe movie (Suicide Squad) and has a stand-alone Joker film for DC on the way. But it would appear Jared’s loyalty is to his checking account, because he’s getting in bed with Marvel. The Hollywood Reporter reports that Jared has been cast in Morbius. I wish I could say it’s about Moby’s superhero alter-ego who fights crime with techno music, but far from it.
Morbius the Living Vampire made his first appearance in Marvel comics’ The Amazing Spider-Man in 1971. Jared will play Dr. Michael Morbius/Morbius the Living Vampire, which is entirely appropriate considering Jared Leto was born in 1971 and doesn’t appear to have aged much since. And much like the lore of a vampire, Jared has also been rumored to creep on young women in the dark.
Morbius will be directed by Daniel Espinosa. THR doesn’t have any more information on Morbius, but considering the character exists in Spider-Man’s universe, there’s a chance Spider-Man could be involved. Also, Morbius has an ongoing feud with vampire hunter Blade. So who knows? Maybe Wesley Snipes will get the call of a lifetime and finally be able to pay back some of the millions in taxes he owes.
The difference between DC and Marvel to me has always been that DC is dark, brooding, and mysterious, whereas Marvel is more colorful, jokey, and fun. But I have a feeling Jared will tailor his on-set method thespian antics accordingly. Instead of visiting with psychopaths and sending live rats to his co-stars, he’ll rent the Twilight series and giggle while saying he farted on a plate of craft service Twinkies.