On Halloween night, Scary Spice lived up to her name by dressing as the most terrifying thing she could think of. Mel B went as a banshee who continues to haunt Victoria Beckham’s life by never shutting up about that damn Spice Girls reunion tour.
Brand Beckham is not one to be fucked with, so that’s why I figured David and Victoria Beckham have managed to be married for 19 years. Nobody wants just one Beckham, so they’re like Olsen twins who occasionally bone and produce offspring. Try not to think about that one for too long. ANYWAY, the Beckhams are plagued with divorce and cheating rumors about as often as Donald Trump fires off a Tweet about, ah, anything. I figured the Beckhams had their bouts of genuine marital strife but usually only about who got first dibs on the hair straightener that day. David had a sit-down with Australian TV and came clean that marriage ain’t easy. Le duh!
Somewhere Ralph Lauren is wondering when he approved a fall campaign starring Posh Spice and her children. Fear not Ralph, for that never happened. This is Victoria Beckham and her children Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz, and Harper, with their dog Olive on the cover of the October issue of British Vogue. But someone is missing. Where’s David Beckham?! Well good news for David Beckham fans: his face made it onto a cover, just not this main one.
Victoria and David Beckham have made an appearance on a red carpet. Together. I know! This is insanely shocking! This is like when Victoria said she was giving up flat shoes! And she really looks thrilled about it too.
David Beckham was allegedly sick of Victoria Beckham posting their kids’ faces on social media and was refusing to pose on the cover of an upcoming issue of British Vogue with the entire family. But he has decided to go along with it. Posh must have threatened to upload pictures of Becks serving as a size model for her ready-to-wear fall 2018 ladies unmentionables collection!
If someone had said back in 1999 that David Beckham and Posh Spice were going to last 19 years of extremely suspect fashion choices, several iterations of bangs (on both), and fighting over who got to use the hair straightener, I would have laughed and said Spice World had better odds of nabbing Best Picture at the Oscars. Alas, David and Victoria Beckham get to have the last laugh by posting a joint Insta-smirk to social media to show they’re celebrating their 19th anniversary with fine wine and probably snickering at how their bank accounts look compared to the other Spices and soccer players they’ve had to work with over the years. Continue reading