Category: David Schwimmer

Open Post: Hosted By Matt LeBlanc’s Disgusting David Schwimmer Story

April 22, 2018 / Posted by:

This is truly revolting, but I bet some truly perverted pervster out there is slightly titillated. The Graham Norton Show seems to be the choice for celebrities who want to relate their most disgusting stories. For example, remember the Friends episode where Rachel made trifle and the pages of her cookbook got stuck together and she made it with the ingredients of shepherd’s pie? (Jeez, how did that show remain on the air for so long?) Well, Matt LeBlanc (aka Joey) somehow ended up eating the trifle that David Schwimmer regurgitated?

“There was too much on his plate. So he starts to eat it all and he starts laughing, and we cut,” LeBlanc recounted. “We’re cutting, and he spits it back on his plate. I’m sitting right next to him, and I’m looking the other way. I didn’t see him spit it back on his plate.”

So LeBlanc ended up eating it in the next scene they shot. You can get the full story below. You don’t have to, though. No one’s forcing you.

Pic: YouTube

David Schwimmer And His Wife Are Taking A Break

April 5, 2017 / Posted by:

I’m sure we all just heard the sound of Ross Geller whining “We were on a break!

I’m almost positive that when you decide to become a famous person, you’re delivered a gift basket containing the card of a divorce lawyer and a coupon for 20% off your first divorce. First marriages just don’t seem to last in Hollywood. David Schwimmer might be finding that out. 50-year-old David and his 31-year-old artist wife of almost seven years Zoe Buckman announced in a statement to UsWeekly that they’re separating.

“It is with great love, respect and friendship that we have decided to take some time apart while we determine the future of our relationship. Our priority is, of course, our daughter’s happiness and well being during this challenging time, and so we ask for your support and respect for our privacy as we continue to raise her together and navigate this new chapter for our family.”

David and Zoe have a 5-year-old daughter named Cleo.

Based on my knowledge of 50-year-old rich dudes coming out of their first marriage, David is a prime candidate for a mid-life crisis rebound. Zoe was 22 when they got together. That means if David rebounds with someone younger, which 99.8% of rich dudes tend to do, he’s looking at the 19-21 bracket. I just pictured a 50-year-old David getting dragged to Coachella by someone whose style icon is Kylie Jenner and who only knows Friends from Netflix. Oh boy, good luck with that, Ross.

Pic: Wenn.com

Lisa Kudrow Thinks Everyone Is Too Old And Boring Now For A “Friends” Reunion

February 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Ever since Friends ended in 2004, fans of Friends fans (Frans?) have been waiting for a reunion, because they really want to see more of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, the “Could I BE anymore…” guy and the one who always wants to know how you’re doing. Some of the cast has sort of gotten together a couple times, but never for an official reunion thing. Courteney Cox explained back in 2015 that even if they wanted to do a reunion, there was always one person (*cough* Schwimmer *cough*) who wasn’t into it. There’s another friend who isn’t feeling a reunion, and it’s Lisa Kudrow.

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The “Friends” Reunion (That Wasn’t Really A Reunion) Happened Last Night

January 25, 2016 / Posted by:

When it was rumored that the entire cast of Friends was going to reunite, people who watched all of that shit religiously had the same reaction I would have if an It’s A Living reunion was announced. They squirted out a foamy stream of excitement. But it turns out it wasn’t really a reunion. They just sat at the same table and said words together at NBC’s tribute to James Burrows which taped in L.A. last night. Johnny Galecki, who dressed up like a snobby French gallery owner, posted a picture on Instagram of the cast of Friends with the cast of The Big Bang Theory. Matthew Perry isn’t in the picture because even he doesn’t want to be seen with Kaley Cuoco. No, Chandler’s in London doing some play, so he couldn’t make it.

Never mind that Courteney Cox’s transformation into the plastic baby of Pete Burns and Michael Jackson is almost complete, I don’t think I ever really noticed how much of a hot silver top daddy Matt LeBlanc is now. And seeing him behind Jim Parsons and David Schwimmer is giving me Joey/Ross/Sheldon gay spit roast fantasies.

Pic: Instagram

The Official Trailer For “American Crime Story” Is Here

December 2, 2015 / Posted by:

FX’s promo schedule for Ryan Murphy’s latest camp extravaganza American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson has felt as long as that white Bronco chase on the freeway. For weeks, they’ve released teaser trailers and promo pictures, and today they finally put out the official trailer and it looks like it’s going to be a beautiful disaster. It’s pretty much looks like O.J. Simpson: The Telenovela.

The trailer has John Travolta looking like a barbecued Raisinet as Robert Shapiro, Cheryl Ladd delivering a world-class eyebrow situation as Robert Shapiro’s wife, Sarah Paulson doing her signature Sarah Paulson cry with two brown mops on her head, Cuba Gooding Jr. sounding like he needs four bags of throat lozenges, Selma Blair gossiping at Nicole Brown’s funeral as Pimp Mama Kris and David Schwimmer bawling in a car as Robert Kardashian. (He’s probably bawling in the car because he realizes he’s defending a demon and is married to a demon too). And there’s also Connie Britton as the morally corrupt Faye Resnick:

americancrimestorytrailer2

That’s pretty much just Connie Britton wearing a lipstick color that only existed in the 90s, but I’ll take it.

And I wonder who is playing the pivotal role of the jury forewoman who fucked up Orenthal James Simpson’s name while reading the verdict? Every time I see the name “O.J. Simpson,” I always read it as, Orenjal James Simpson.

Courteney Cox Sort Of Hints That David Schwimmer Might Be The Reason Why There Hasn’t Been A Friends Reunion

April 28, 2015 / Posted by:

Fucking Ross! Of course it would be his fault. It’s always Ross’ fault. During a recent interview with Yahoo, Courteney Cox was asked whether or not there might ever be a Friends reunion. Obviously the answer to that is no, because a reunion is only a reunion if you’re able to get all the former cast members together, and that would be impossible, since Monica’s old face has been MIA for several years now. But according to Courteney, it’s a no because there’s always someone who fucks it up, and no, it’s not that adorable bumbling oaf Joey. When asked about the possibility of a reunion, Courteney said:

“Dear lord, let it go, people. We’re not doing it. It’s just not going to happen….We’ve gotten about 80% there, but there’s always one person who flakes at the end.”

She was then asked if the name of the flake was David Schwimmer, and she answered:

“You know, I’m not going to name names, but it may not be Schwimmer.”

She then looked at the camera like “It’s totally fucking Ross.” It’s always Ross!

You know what? A Friends reunion can still happen without David Schwimmer; just grab a mopey-looking potato, put it in a blue sweater, and sit it beside a monkey – there, instant Ross. The only people who really matter are Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Joey’s hot slutty sister Gina, Phoebe, Ursula, the chick and the duck, Gunther, that dude who kept letting his balls hang out, and sexy DILF Jack Gellar (just me and Phoebe? Ok).

Speaking of a potato in a sweater, here’s David Schwimmer at an event with his wife and daughter last weekend. For someone who doesn’t want to do a Friends reunion, dude sure is dressed like he’s ready to drop everything and film one. Blue sweater? Check. Boot-cut jeans? Check. Ross hair? Check. Dopey “Hey Rach” face? Check.

Pics: Splash

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