David Hasselhoff Got Married To Hayley Roberts In Italy 

I’d like to think that if you call David Hasselhoff’s phone right now, there’s an outgoing message that says: “Hey baby, don’t hassle The Hoff – but especially not this week, because I’m on my honeymoon with Wife #3!” People says that 66-year-old David Hasselhoff got married to his 38-year-old Welsh model girlfriend Hayley Roberts.

David’s publicist confirmed the two got married in Puglia, Italy yesterday in a small ceremony in front of friends and family, including his two daughters Taylor and Hayley Hasselhoff. David and Hayley (his new wife, not his daughter) have been engaged since 2016 and together since 2011, when she asked for his autograph and he asked for her phone number. Smooth, but I would have figured his pick-up game consisted solely of telling her to jump in his car. David was previously married to Catherine Hickland and his wife of 17 years Pamela Bach.

Taylor and Hayley (his daughter, not his new wife) supported their dad getting married. David has previously told Hello! that his daughters “love Hayley” and that they’re happy for him. I’m happy for them if David chose to write his own vows, then stood at the altar and recited the lyrics to the Baywatch theme.

“Hayley, they say some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light. I’ll be ready. I’ll be ready. Never you fear. No don’t you fear”

And Hayley wouldn’t care, because what doesn’t say love and commitment more than the slow-motion drama of a beach rescue run?

Pic: Wenn.com/FayesVision

Open Post: Hosted By The “Black Panther” Purple Carpet Premiere

If you’re sick and tired of hearing the overused screams of “YASSSSS QUEEN” then do yourself a favor and skip this post because the the purple carpet at the Black Panther premiere last night was shouting it from the mountain top! Every little phrase we’ve stolen from drag culture is appropriate here. I am gagged and my wig is snatched. Yes, they all did jump from there.

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Hayley Hasselhoff Was Arrested For DUI

According to a police report obtained by People magazine, Hayley Hasselhoff – 24-year-old daughter of David Hasselhoff and star of Sharknado 4 – was arrested for DUI on Saturday. Hayley better be prepared for a whole lot of people shouting “NO THANKS” the next time she sings her daddy’s song Jump In My Car at karaoke.

Police found Hayley at 4am on a freeway off-ramp, passed out in the driver’s seat of her Mercedes with her foot on the brake. Police were able to wake Hayley and get her out safely while taking control of her vehicle. The police report says that Hayley stunk of booze and she failed a sobriety test. Hayley was taken to the hospital for an evaluation, and when she was clear to go, she was taken to a nearby jail to be booked.

I am a major technology skeptic, but I am 100% on board with those self-driven robot cars. Humans just can’t be trusted not to drive hammered. Hell, I’ll even take a car driven by another human. Just think how amazing it would be: you press a button on your phone, and a vehicle will magically pull up, uber-fast and give you a lift to your home. I know it sounds like a Jetsons-like fantasy, but I’m sure scientists are super close to figuring out the technology.

Because the only reason we’re even talking about Hayley Hasselhoff is who her dad is, here’s David Hasselhoff looking like an extra-crispy drumstick in Miami earlier today with his fiancée Hayley Roberts.

Pic: Wenn.com/FayesVision, Backgrid