The Billboard Music Awards were last night and if the red carpet is any indication, it lived up to it’s name because most stars looked as bored as can be. With very few exceptions, most of the night’s looks were uninspired and devoid of whimsy. Nick Jonas (above) looks like he just showed up for his shift at Applebees and still needs to go get his flair from his locker and take a quick shot at the bar before getting started. He’ll be with you in a minute, ok?
The human representation of Taylor Swift Marketing Ploy #25 (“Platonically befriend dudes who don’t look like your other model friends so the world sees you’re not shallow.“), Ed Sheeran, got engaged. Hopefully his future bride didn’t see him in that “End Game” video. Please stop chucking the deuces, Ed. Bodies are still frozen mid-cringe after watching that. She might call off the wedding! (Oh, and Darren Criss got engaged, too.) Continue reading
According to Deadline, the family of Gianni Versace have released a statement denouncing Ryan Murphy’s latest scandal-based television offering. Needless to say, they won’t be throwing an The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story viewing party in their mansion when it premieres next week.
If you’ve been following the making of Ryan Murphy’s latest bewigged dramatic extravaganza, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, then you’ve probably already seen Darren Criss (Andrew Cunan), Edgar Ramirez (Gianni Versace), Penelope Cruz (Donatella Versace) and Ricky Martin (Gianni’s partner Antonio D’Amico) in character. But Entertainment Weekly got the first official picture of all of them together. That cover is a tacky, opulent 90s fever dream of Day-Glo messiness, and yes I’m going to force my family to recreate it for our 2017 Christmas card, and we don’t even do family Christmas cards! And yes, hair will be pulled and faces will be scratched as we fight over who gets to be the “Donatella.”
The Criss that I want to see 95% naked on Instagram is Criss Angel (I’m joking, my taste isn’t that much of a mess. Yes, it is.), but I’ll gladly take the almost-naked bait that Darren Criss dangled last night.
Darren is playing psycho killer Andrew Cunanan in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story and they’re currently filming it. Earlier this month, the paparazzi got pictures of Darren wetting his nipples and wearing a speedo while filming a beach shower scene for ACS in Miami. And last night, he decided to earn a dozen THOT points by giving his followers a sequel to those Speedo pictures. Darren stripped down, worked his Mattel-made V-line thing (or “69 hand grips” as I call them), made an “Ooh! I said one finger and you gave me two, but I like it” face and followed Instagram’s prudish guidelines by covering his peen area with a Speedo.
Since Nick Jonas has kept his shirt on lately, some dude has gotta shamelessly pander to the gays and straight teen girls for Instagram likes. So I say, keep setting those thirst traps, Blaine from Glee!