I don’t get into weekday morning drinking, but when I woke up to the headline, “LAPD PROBING SCIENTOLOGY AND DANNY MASTERSON FOR MULTIPLE RAPES, COVER-UP,” I nearly skipped the coffee and went straight to the booze.
Tony Ortega’s The Underground Bunker reports that several female Scientologists have gone to the LAPD to accuse Danny Masterson of That ’70s Show (seen above looking like a villain rapist police detective from a 1970s cop movie) of rape. Tony writes that one of the alleged victims went to the police after anti-Scientology warrior queen Leah Remini urged them to. But apparently, the reports have gone nowhere.
Bijou Phillips is currently not doing so well, health-wise. TMZ says that Danny Masterson’s wife was rushed to a Santa Barbara hospital last night after feeling sick and having a high fever. When she got to the hospital, Bijou was diagnosed with a blood infection, and that’s when a doctor informed her she needed a kidney transplant. Bijou’s rep tells TMZ that Bijou has been dealing with kidney disease for the past 5 years. Apparently she was born with small kidneys, and she tried to control it with a vegan diet. When that didn’t work, she resorted to dialysis.
New kidneys usually come from a relative. But in Bijou’s case, that might not be the best idea, since some Phillips kidneys come with more mileage on them than others. Thankfully she’s got a friend who is a kidney match. Bijou’s rep says she’s “optimistic” she’ll have a transplant soon. TMZ says that Bijou is currently in stable condition, but she needs that new kidney. Danny Masterson is reportedly in the hospital with her.
Bijou and her husband Danny are Scientologists, and Scientology apparently leaves organ donation up to the person, but they believe there “may be spiritual repercussions” that “require more auditing.” So Bijou will really end up paying a lot for that new kidney since auditing ain’t cheap. Actually, that’s how insurance companies should approach organ transplants from now on. “Yes that new gall bladder is going to cost a lot of money. But to put things into perspective, it’s actually much less than you’d end up paying if you were a Scientologist.”
Danny Masterson is a born and bred Scientologist and he’s married to Scientologist Bijou Phillips (Side note: Thank you to the Dlisted commenter who once said, “Ugh, Bijou Phillips would fuck a snake,” a million years ago, because every time I type her name I think of her fucking a snake. A snake with Danny Masterson’s face and neckbeard), so of course he has strong feelings hating on Scientology.
Paper Magazine talked to Hyde from That 70s Show at Sundance about Going Clear, the HBO documentary that EXPOSES some of the crazy and possibly criminal shit those crazies have done. Danny goes full Tom Cruise and made it perfectly clear that his body is empty of blood and only barley-flavored Kool-Aid runs through his veins, because ho doesn’t have one bad thing to say about Scientology. It’s as if L. Ron Hubbard’s ghost shoved his fist up Danny’s ass and moved his mouth while talking for him. Danny told Paper that Scientology is better than college, Scientologists don’t hate gay people (cut to John Travolta falling through a trap door into a dungeon after trying to bring up Grindr in the Scientology Centre) and how people suffering from mental illness don’t need meds when Scientology can fix them! Take it away, Danny!