Remember how just a few days ago we learned that “prostitution whor-ah!” Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey was getting married again only a week after her last divorce was finalized? They were supposed to get married today, but well, surprise! That’s not happening. There are multiple reports coming in that Danielle and her fiancé, Olivier Maier–who is allegedly the Duke of Provence–are not getting married today like they said they would, and her last husband has some ideas on why Danielle is in such a rush. Yeah girl: we all know why $he’$ getting married again.
Teresa Giudice’s “Prostitution whor-ah! You were fucking engaged, 19 times? You’re a fucking bitch!” line is going to have to be updated to “Prostitution whor-ah! You were fucking engaged, 21 times? You’re a fucking bitch!” Because Danielle Staub of the Real Housewives of New Jersey is engaged for the 21st time and is wasting no time in getting divorce #4 in there.
According to People, Danielle Staub is engaged again, a week after her messy 2-month marriage to Marty Caffrey officially ended. Danielle is now engaged to an alleged rich dude with the alleged rich-people-job (I think) of managing director of a private equity firm Olivier Maier.
Baby showers have always seemed like a dull concept to me ever since the most radical thing Miranda had at hers on Sex And The City was fried chicken and a diaper tree (eh, I guess the two go hand-in-hand). However, if you remotely know anyone with a working social media account, you couldn’t escape Andy Cohen’s baby shower over the weekend, hosted by OG Real Housewives NeNe Leakes, Vicki Gunvalson, Kyle Richards, Ramona Singer, and Teresa Giudice. Well, by host, that means those five all gave speeches at Beverly Hills outpost of The Palm, owned by Andy’s friend Bruce Bozzi. Alas, this day was not about Andy’s soon-to-arrive baby boy (I don’t think I saw much reference to children). This was about middle-aged women tossing back Chardonnay and Vicodin cocktails, dancing on tables (this is The Palm! Not Coyote Ugly!), and dropping f-bombs and acid…all on camera, of course.
Chalk this up for one I would never have seen coming, even if it was written in Live Journal fan fiction form. Al B. Sure! was performing in Harlem Sunday at “The Kings And Queens Of New Jack Swing” concert, where Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey was somehow a guest. I would normally take that as Danielle just looking to avoid spending time with her live-in estranged husband, but I guess she was up that way to lock lips with Al B – and, for once, this Housewives dalliance didn’t take place at the Regency!
If you hear a banshee cackle across Greater Los Angeles today, it’s Kris Jennerwriting up new plotlines for Keeping Up With The Kardashians, per usual. If you hear TWO banshee cackles, it’s because Kim Kardashian may no longer be the reality TV trick with the shortest marriage. I hope you are sitting down for the latest case in “True Love Doesn’t Exist.” It appears that after two months of wedded…uh…opposite-of-bliss, Danielle Staub and new hubby Marty Caffrey are squabbling, and he even blabbed he wanted a divorce! Continue reading
Twenty tiiiiiiimes?! Back in the early days of the Real Housewives empire, New Jersey unhinged its jaw at the first season finale to show those Atlanta broads the girls from the Garden State could be just as catty. Danielle Staub didn’t have too many friends that first season, and when the enemies got wind of a book talking about how she had been arrested and engaged “nineteen TIMES?!,” it was accompanied by Teresa Giudice and the table flip heard ‘round the world. Since then, those two made amends, and Danielle made it a nice, round 20 engagements…and finally walked down the aisle! Continue reading