Category: Dancing With The Stars

“Dancing With The Stars” Has Been Injected With Some 80s Mall Soundtrack Star Power

September 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Actually, it might be a little hard to tell through that heavy Haylie Duff filter that has been applied. Here, I’ll give you a hint, courtesy of some subtle Photoshop. Take a look at it now (it might also help to channel of the smell of mall plastic and the feel of scrunch socks on your ankles).

alan-bersten-and-debbie-gibson-39fad273-14b6-4de4-8ba7-8b0069b4ecde

No, it’s not Haylie Duff with a hat (who said that?!?). It’s 80s teen pop legend and one-time perfume mogul Debbie Gibson! I really should have made it easier by replacing her dance partner with a pastel peach Sharp Boombox.

Continue reading

“Malcolm In The Middle” Will Soon Be Malcolm In The Middle Of The Dance Floor

September 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Another season of Dancing With the Stars (or as it’s known in my house, “Okay, but why is the British version called Strictly Come Dancing?“) will soon be upon us. Stars and the star-adjacent are begging their agents or whoever has a phone with a couple free minutes left on it to get them a spot on the 25th season. Handsome house fixer-upper and aspiring Hallmark movie boyfriend Drew Scott was the first to confirm that he has joined the cast. Great news for anyone who has ever wanted to see a come-to-life male department store mannequin attempt to cha-cha-cha. Another cast member that has been confirmed is former Malcolm in the Middle star and sometime mess Frankie Muniz.

Continue reading

Sean Spicer Tapped For “Dancing With The Stars”

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all knew that just because Sean Spicer quit those bitches at The White House, he wasn’t going to go gentle into that good night. Spicey is ready to cash in his chips and get that paper now that he’s been unchained from his podium in the fortress of solitude, or wherever he’s been hiding out these past few months. Sean hasn’t been wasting time either.

Continue reading

“Dancing With The Stars” Has Lost Its Only Real Star

April 4, 2017 / Posted by:

The good news is that none of us have to watch Dancing with the Stars anymore since the only reason to watch is now gone. The sad news is that we have once again been reminded that Americans shouldn’t be allowed to vote for anything since the people can’t get shit right. Charo was told to exit stage left last night after she got the lowest total score. Charo was in the bottom two with fucking Nick Vile from The Bachelor. Yes, a no-talent-having bowl of unseasoned cauliflower mash got a higher total score than an international superstar legend! This country…

Continue reading

“Dancing With The Stars” Doesn’t Deserve Charo Anyway!

March 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Dancing with Charo (And A Bunch Of Nobodies) had its second episode on Monday, and Deadline says the ratings were down. It’s obvious why. The jealous and shit-brained judges committed an illegal act by giving Charo a score of 21 out of 40 the week before. The people just couldn’t bear to watch as the judges continued to do the ultimate wrong by giving the flawless Spanish rose such low scores. Charo apparently agrees.

Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >