The Real Star Of The Trailer For “Murder On The Orient Express” Is Kenneth Branagh’s Magnificent Silver Stache And Pussy Patch
Poirot purists (Poirists?) are screaming blasphemy today, because the trailer for the new Murder on the Orient Express movie is out and Kenneth Branagh’s ridiculous Poirot look is all wrong. While I love Kenneth Branagh’s grey Wilford Brimley-on-roids mustache and the porn star grandma’s crotch patch on his chin, many don’t. Some Agatha Christie fans don’t want a Poirot not named David Suchet, let alone a Poirot who looks like a shapeshifting human who is about 5% into shapeshifting into a fluffy grey cat. I guess some can’t appreciate a stache that looks like two streams of hairy snot coming out of a nose.
Dame Judi Dench tells The Mirror that she’s been diagnosed with macular degeneration, a condition that can cause blindness, and is trying to keep her sight. Before she was diagnosed, Judi’s eyesight was already starting to go and she needed help reading scripts. It’s gotten much worse. Judi’s daughter has to read her scripts and she can barely see faces right in front of her. This might be okay if most of the faces in front of her belonged to a Kardashian, but that’s not the case for Judi and so day-to-day life has gotten a little harder. Dame Judi explained it like this to The Mirror during an interview:
“I’ve got what my ma had, macular degeneration, which you get when you get old. I had wet in one eye and dry in the other and they had to do these injections and I think it’s arrested it. I hope so.
I can’t see your face at all now, but I can see your outline. I can see over there [she indicates the far side of the room, some 15ft away]. The most distressing thing is in a restaurant in the evening I can’t see the person I’m having dinner with. Actually, what I miss are people corpsing on stage.
I know there might be something going on but sometimes I can’t see it and that infuriates me as I think I’m really missing out on something.”
You get used to it. I’ve got lenses and glasses and things and very bright light helps. I can do a crossword if it’s bright sunshine but if a cloud comes out the next minute I can’t see anything.”
Judi misses reading books, but she’s going to buy a digital book reader to make the words bigger. Judi also waves away any talk of her retiring and she plans to keep acting for as long as possible.
NOT DAME JUDI! You know, but with or without her eyesight, Dame Judi can still out act most of the young hos out there. Can’t somebody donate their eyeballs to Dame Judi? That sentence was mostly directed at White Oprah, because it’s not like she ever uses hers to look in the mirror or to see how much she’s fucked up her daughters. WELL, it’s Dame Judi we’re talking about. She’s an international treasure.