In case people were still wondering just how serious the relationship between Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin is, we finally have an answer. Chris and Dakota are matching infinity symbol tattoos serious. Which is pretty serious. Infinity is a really long time, just ask Thanos! According to The Daily Mail, the pair have each been spotted “sporting the exact same infinity symbol inking, intertwined with two X’s”, which, how basic can you get? You’d think if you were as wealthy as these two and had access to the best culture, arts, and literature the world has to offer, they could come up with something a little more original.
Open Post: Hosted By Tilda Swinton Looking Like The Mayor Of Whoville At The VFF Premiere Of “Suspiria”
If you can’t get Toni Collette for your satanic dance academy horror flick remake (ooo, Hereditary was so good and she was so good in it as Trauma Mom), then you grab yourself some Tilda Swinton! Tilda is the androgynous acting angel whose handsome countenance lifts every movie she’s in to a much higher level. Here she is at the Suspiria premiere at the Venice International Film Festival yesterday looking like she’s about to shut the Grinch down with some roast beast and a bit of “HA HOO WHORE HAY.”
Luca Guadagnino’s remake of the 1977 horror classic Suspiria is getting mixed reviews so far, but Tilda’s been noted as the bright spot. And there’s a rumor that 82-year-old newcomer Lutz Ebersdorf, who plays a shrink in the movie, is really Tilda in heavy prosthetics. Luca has denied that. I believe Luca. Like Tilda needs prosthetics to change into another face. All she has to do is raise her face toward the rays shooting off of her home planet and hum the shape-shifting chant of her alien ancestors as her face changes into that of an 82-year-old German man. Prosthetics! How insult. They act like Tilda is a mere human.
Check out more pics of Tilda from the Suspiria premiere in the gallery below including Dakota Johnson, Thom Yorke (he did the music), Cate Blanchett, Naomi Watts, Alek Wek, Chloe Grace Moretz, Mia Goth, and the original Suspiria’s star Jessica Harper!
Multiplex employees everywhere can finally begin to breathe a sigh of relief, for they’re finally in the Fifty Shades homestretch. Only a few more weekends of holding down their gag reflex when a middle-aged woman asks them for the 6,379th time if they’re so excited for the “climax” of the series. And if the box office numbers are any indication, they might have to suffer just a little longer.
Irish vulgarity translator Jamie Dornan went on Conan to sell the thankfully last film in the Fifty Shades of This Isn’t Doing Much For Making Kink Look Fun trilogy. Because you’ve got to have a gimmick, the prettiest serial killer in existence (The Fall made me understand why Ted Bundy had groupies) had a story about taking off co-star Dakota Johnson’s panties. I’m pretty sure this is the same sort of story Clark Gable told about Vivian Leigh’s drawers on Tonight Starring Steve Allen.
At the Golden Globes, Dakota Johnson got caught caught staring in Angelina Jolie’s direction as Angelina attempted not to notice Jennifer Aniston standing on stage in front of them. Dakota now says that she might not actually have been caught staring at the person we all want her to be.
You could just tell from Darren Aronofsky’s rambling on and on and on and…you get the idea…about his twisted Sunday School of a movie, mother!, that he just KNEW he was going to spend the night of the Oscars collecting statue after statue and rubbing shoulders with Meryl Streep. Instead, he’ll get the chance to maybe be the muse for James Franco’s next movie about a turd of a movie (well, if he’s even allowed to make movies again). That’s right, the 38th annual Golden Raspberry Awards nominees were released today, and it looks like those Fifty Shades Of Shit movies have some competition from mother!. Continue reading