The Samantha Jones we know and love hates children, and so she would never text with a kid, and she would definitely never sext with one. But if Satan got his way and the Sex and the City 3 movie was made and came out, we’d see Miranda Hobbes’ now 14-year-old son Brady, who looks like this now (and strangely enough he looks like the ginger love child of Cynthia Nixon and Rojo Caliente), sending dick pics to Samantha. Samantha looking at child porn sent to her by a teenager she knew as a kid gets 5 out of 5 Not Amused While Drinking Wine Samanths from me:
While most of us who watched the horrendous second Sex And The City Movie did the happiest of happy dances when Kim Cattrall refused to do a third, I guess there still people Samantha Jones-ing (yuk yuk) for more. A few of the lesser cast members lost their collective shit over the chance for a check that wasn’t coming from a role in a commercial for arthritis medication. Fans have also been upset, and one point blank asked Sarah Jessica Parker to write Samantha off or replace her and still do the movie. SJP isn’t so convinced.
This is one of those times where I wish I had access to a time machine so I could go back and warn Michael K that he might want to get out an iron to press and starch his best mourning veil. Because the dream of seeing Christine “Rojo Caliente” Marinoni working a First Lady wave from a victory parade float has died, at least for right now. Six months after Cynthia Nixon announced she was running for governor of New York, she lost in the Democratic primary to incumbent Andrew Cuomo. I guess the threat of one of Cardi B’s flying shoes just wasn’t enough.
Oh, Miranda Hobbes. You were the unsung heroine and frequent possessor of the short end of the stick on the late, not-exactly-lamented-due-to-those-two-SHITTAY-movies Sex and the City. (Don’t give me that. That show had the best series finale in TV history. Everyone got a happy ending and Carrie got slapped. I kid! Sort of. There was absolutely no need for those flicks.) Seriously, Cynthia Nixon was the best actress on that show and she usually had to contend with storylines like dudes in sandwich costumes trying to fuck her.
Nevertheless, the acclaimed actress of stage and screen (who already had two kids) went on to become a wife (to a wife), had another kid, beat breast cancer, and is now running for governor of New York! One of Cynthia’s platforms is LGBTQ rights, and she celebrated her 21-year-old transgender son Seph’s (Samuel Joseph Mozes) graduation from the University of Chicago on Instagram.
Mrs. Rojo Caliente Vows To Continue To Run For Governor Even Though She Lost The Democratic Party Nom
The blacklist at the admissions office of Heaven just got a lot, lot longer with the names of the evil morons who dared to vote against Cynthia Nixon for governor of New York. A vote against Cynthia Nixon is a vote against Rojo Caliente, and a vote against Rojo Caliente is a vote against everything that is good and holy. Those dumb fucks are going to realize they made a mistake when they end up in Hell and find out that the only thing served in the Ninth Circle cafeteria is Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa Cake.
As we all know, Cynthia is running for governor of New York against the current governor of New York, Mr. Sandra Lee (aka Andrew Cuomo). I’m not a Citizen of New York anymore and Cynthia isn’t really qualified to be the head of NY, but she still has definitely won my vote for three reasons: 1. She’s married to ginger angel Rojo Caliente. 2. She wants to legalize the good shit there. 3. She’s married to ginger angel Rojo Caliente.
Cynthia has been running as an anti-establishment Democrat, and her message is that New York needs a big change. The New York Democratic Party probably shook with fear over “big change” and continued to show that they’re allergic to shaking shit up by overwhelmingly voting to endorse Cuomo. Who cares about them! Cynthia Nixon has already won the support of Samantha Jones and that’s the only endorsement that matters!
Cynthia Nixon’s first television interview since announcing her run for governor of New York aired this morning on The Wendy Williams Show. Those who still aren’t sure if Cynthia has the experience to run for governor should probably watch this interview as soon as possible. She’s seriously on top of things. Before Wendy could get out her signature, “How you doin’?” Cynthia asked, “How are you?” in a way that said, “No really Wendy, what can I, Cynthia Nixon, do for you.”